Train Thought

I dunno. This is just me trying to challenge myself. I wanted to make each line two words, just to get my mind open.

Two people,

two seats.

He beckons,

she smiles.

First her,

then him.

Two strangers,

sharing space.

Her hair,

Vanilla lace.

His fingers

did trace...

down to

neckline low.

She adjusts

for his

peep show.

No room

for him

to get

real low.

Fantasy of

painted toes,

silk strap

at ankles...

sexy stilletos.

Supple breasts

touched upon.

Moaning before

letting go.

Tunnels and...

lights and....

off and...

on and....

on again.

As breath

leaves us

again and

again and....

this is

my stop.

Goodbye morning

sex pot.

Reviews

[J. Hampton]

A man ...must challenge himself....
If he cannot follow through "his own "guidlines....well

I like that you put your sel to task...
works for me...kinda breathy little verses..like peeking and teasing...
playful without going to far or getting caught

Bit of humor to it...those trists be like that !....lol
Blesssssssss

[J.P.O.et]

Nice, I like the two word thing as it is definitely challenge to
make it work and flow but you did a good job of it. Esp. like
'Two strangers, sharing space.
Her hair, vanilla lace.
His fingers, did trace..'
Nice work scribe

J.P.O.et

[mysticgmekeepr]

This would sound real good begin read aloud...I could "hear" it as I was reading. the flow was really good with a clipped staccato rhythm. Nice

[eli mercuree rue]

ah this is really hot..


it rolls of the tongue as it should
i like the structure

everything


hmm yeah

i think i'll go plot right now

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

despite using just two words, your challenge was well received. Nice job. I had a really steamy music video in my mind the whole time I read it. Nice job!

[Choosing Life]

hmmm.. Your writing is grande... I am not sure if I like the ending though...
sexpot?

You know and me and my sometimes pristine self... lol

Over all it tell the story great.

You get a hundred but then you always do...

[TamiViolet]

SEXY...oh, so sexy Michael. The erotic feel is stunning! And, by the way,
just who is this sexpot...smile. I'm playing. It's going directly into my
favs like all of your writing does, and oh, the way you write...


ps Love the photo!!!

[Caitbabie008]

I loved this! I felt like i was there! :)

[Cece]

like a secret admirer
but be careful with
strangers on the train

i have seen many things happen
with the start of this scenario
no matter how beautiful the monster

classic story new twist
a beautiful ending
muuaah and off you go

[Floating on the feather..]

Hey this is amazing....very unusual and captivating.
And much hilarious.

Liked the style and the write as well.

2 words per line...good challenges and well met.