Marvin Gaye Gene Pool

This is my first draft of this particular piece. I just wanted to do something COMPLETELY different. Sometimes I don't like rhyming because it's harder for the reader to grasp the point. Hopefully, the point is plain here.

Perhaps to play up the pain

induces involuntary, unconditional intimacy

in the pleasure.

Sometimes surreal exists there...

between those two places,

chasing toxic purple clouds high over heroin seas.

Perhaps to play up the pain

induces involuntary, unconditional intimacy,

and it's so f*****g great there!

We make love long enough to evade the heartache

of either of us,

wishing we didn't have verse two already written.

Way up there,

with our noses open,

dripping...

Ooh, baby, I need another hit.

I need to remember this...

feeling forever, for my own faith

in a high(er) power....

sooooo hiiiiighhhh....

and perhaps

to play up the pain induces involuntary,

unconditional intimacy.

Doesn't it feel good?

Take a hit and....

ahhhhh....

before tomorrow never comes.

Reviews

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

I have heard a lot of people say that a 'non-rhyming poem is better' and my prose type got more reviews, but I do feel rhyming is much more challenging, and it makes it a little more difficult, which can be more fun. But overall, whether you rhyme or don't rhyme, you always deliver! I like this one. My favorite lines:

"chasing toxic purple clouds over heroin seas..." that was amazing. thanks for painting a picture in my mind.

[An Ordinary Woman]

Different, Yessir and extremely powerful. Poems like this?

... are rare and exactly why I have so much respect for you as a poet. This poem has the punch that is so hard to find now days. I really cannot offer you a higher praise than this. :+)

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Hello..

Love this piece.. not worried about rhyming. not addicted to rhythm.. words and phrases , yes and you have some great ones here.
good writing !

Chloe
xoxo

[Bubo]

I read this and although it may not rhythm, its you written all over it.........and I like this
go with it, can't have it all rhyming!Great piece, full of addictiveness!

[J. Hampton]

"Different"...

Like if I didn't know you wrote this...I wouldn't have guessed.

Hot scribe really.......somewhere between existential humping ...and purple-haze

It all medicates ...addictively

man...this caught me off guard.


Please ... Italicize this verse throughout ...

"Perhaps to play up the pain
induces involuntary, unconditional intimacy"

Nice peOles...

Blesssssssssssss

[Christel Grady]

Love the repetition, and I really like the no-rhyming! Your words still have a rhythm that is unmistakable. I have always thought that poetry does not have to rhyme. That is the beauty of it!

And great sound effects! : )

[Choosing Life]

This is full of metaphor...

Excellent scribe as you know I do a lot of poems that don't rhyme. It isn't always necessary and here you made your point clearly without it.