Inexplicable

I don't know really

I came by train, and only 3 people including me got off this station

I am not expecting this day to be any different

I wore the same jacket and sweater I had on yesterday

See, waking up today is such a huge effort for me

I stared at the empty bench just by the window,

maybe I should sit here? No one else would

that is lonely, this bench needs somebody

so I did

Not for long someone tap the window 

yes it was annoying but I turned to see who dared

And I met your gaze

I don't know who you were 

but I saw my best friend behind you waving at me

still I focused back on you and you just smiled

I stood and felt stupid but your tapping indicated you wanted me inside

I entered the lounge and felt warm air brush me

I shrugged my shoulders and then felt lighter 

My best friend hugged me and you shook my hand

"Your hands are cold" you didn't let go

"She is always cold! she's a winter baby" my friend interjected

finally you returned my hand

So how long have you been dating? I asked without pause

"Never!" you both said

What why?

"No one really had that impression before" you said

Oh yeah? well sorry about that

"It's fine, it's new" you said

Is this how things start?

Or maybe like the one before I am making it up?

See, that is the reason why my niceness has limits

I don't want to people to make assumptions 

on how I feel about them

because I see myself in them

I just wish my heart will stop

every nice things is always "Because you're special"

what if I am the only one nurturing this feelings?

my brain is definitely getting tired of this crap

"Are you ok?" not long you asked

yeah why?

"You're quiet"

I usually am, I don't really start conversations

"I noticed"

Is that...okay?

"As long as you're comfortable"

Stop being nice to me