F**k you

Trigger warning ⚠️ Death

One time
A long time ago
You said
What did you say…
It doesn’t matter
what you said.
You’re gone and I’m gone too
but not the part that’s missing you.

I want to kill myself,
the part that holds you close.
I just want to die.
I wanna die…

I look up to the sky
and think
Are you looking up too….
But who cares…
Who cares?
F**k you…

I wanna die

Author's Note

Terribly written, pathetic year later depression.

Reviews

[JayG]

• One time. A long time ago You said

So…someone the reader doesn’t know claims that someone they never introduced said something never reported. And you think that means anything to a reader? You’ve given them no reason to care, or, read on. There is NO second first impression. And by talking to someone unknown about things meaningful only to you, you just took away any reason for the reader to continue.

• What did you say… It doesn’t matter what you said.

If it doesn’t matter, why are you still pissed?

I have no doubt that you’re still upset. But when writing poetry you can’t talk to someone not in the room and expect the reader who doesn’t know you to care. To them this is just another dismal damsel writing a letter to the one she feels has done her wrong. But for all we know, it’s the writer’s fault.

First, poetry is not a way to complain about the way your life is going, because a report isn’t poetry, it's nonfiction

We don’t say things like, “I cried at my father’s funeral, we make the reader weep. Fail that—fail to focus on moving the reader, emotionally, and make them care, and it can’t work.

Try something: Visit the Shmoop site. Once there, select Student, then Poetry. There are lots of great, and successful poems analyzed in great detail there, to show you what works, and why—to give direction to your own efforts.

There’s a LOT to writing poetry that’s not obvious, but still, necessary. We write about what's meaningful to us, yes. But do it by taking into account the reader’s expectations and making rthe reading easy for them, using the tools that have been honed over centuries. But to do that, you first, need to know what they are. So give it a try. Who knows, maybe a goal, like learning the skills of the poet, will take your mind from your misery. After all, sooner or later, you’ll have to let go. Why not now?

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

I cannot believe that a reviewer below posted his review after reading your words !
You are obviously depressed hurting desperate so I’m so shocked he would do that to someone in this state
Ok
Enough said shut up Julie. That’s me !
I liked your poem keep writing and hopefully when you write in a year you will be happier if not sooner