Zig-Zag movie promotion!

Zig-Zag movie promotion!

A Stage Play by Cafeland Khamoshiyan

                                                                   Synopsis
 I entered the hall with a tense face as my co-actor Jame was not there with me. Somehow I managed to not to let others know about how I was feeling and no doubt things went along smoothly until I had to say a few lines of my movie.  

Me- "Listen children- WHAT IS THIS?" 
Director snapped- "How will they listen, when you are showing something?"
'How stupid am i...........' I murmured as I took a step back.
Everyone started laughing and thats how my movie got promoted. Hehe. I didn't utter even a single word after that. It was quite an embarrassing moment for me. 

© 2015 Cafeland Khamoshiyan


Author's Note

Cafeland Khamoshiyan
I'm trying to write a novel. Pls suggest reviews ..plsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

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Reviews

Critique: When writing, even mysterious writing, the reader should be able to visualize the scene in their mind. I am having difficulty doing so. Might I suggest adding more paint to the "Synopsis"? It seems to not explain the scene enough to draw a mental picture.
After this revision, I would say this is a good start. I would like to see more of this writing when you have more.
I'm also not sure who your target audience of your intent. It would help tremendous to keep the potential reader in mind when continuing this novel.

Posted 9 Years Ago


This is an interesting piece. I liked the the intro where you describe yourself as entering the hall with a tense face. When you write, ""How will they listen, when you are showing something?" it makes me curious as to what that something is.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Cafeland Khamoshiyan

9 Years Ago

U lyk it really? thnk u..u r d nly 1 who reviews ol my ritins..
That is a???????????????
Kelsey Schadt

9 Years Ago

Above all I like the fact that you are writing. When you wrote the poem last bunch of words, I thoug.. read more
Cafeland Khamoshiyan

9 Years Ago

ya......idk why i'm still here?

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Added on July 28, 2015
Last Updated on August 3, 2015