Zig-Zag movie promotion!

Synopsis

I entered the hall with a tense face as my co-actor Jame was not there with me. Somehow I managed to not to let others know about how I was feeling and no doubt things went along smoothly until I had to say a few lines of my movie.

Me- "Listen children- WHAT IS THIS?"

Director snapped- "How will they listen, when you are showing something?"

'How stupid am i...........' I murmured as I took a step back.

Everyone started laughing and thats how my movie got promoted. Hehe. I didn't utter even a single word after that. It was quite an embarrassing moment for me.

© 2015 Cafeland Khamoshiyan

Author's Note

I'm trying to write a novel. Pls suggest reviews ..plsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

My Review

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Reviews

Heartland Patriot

Critique: When writing, even mysterious writing, the reader should be able to visualize the scene in their mind. I am having difficulty doing so. Might I suggest adding more paint to the "Synopsis"? It seems to not explain the scene enough to draw a mental picture.
After this revision, I would say this is a good start. I would like to see more of this writing when you have more.
I'm also not sure who your target audience of your intent. It would help tremendous to keep the potential reader in mind when continuing this novel.

Posted 9 Years Ago

Kelsey Schadt

This is an interesting piece. I liked the the intro where you describe yourself as entering the hall with a tense face. When you write, ""How will they listen, when you are showing something?" it makes me curious as to what that something is.