Inspiration in smoke

Inspiration in smoke

 

The man is smoking. The smoke volutes take the shape of circles, each one bigger than the previous. Such as grey clouds, the volutes dissipate in thousand and one shapes. The man sees eyes, before they become an unhealthy wind. The ashes of the cigarette take the shape of multiple imps. The horned creatures start dancing where the smoke goes. The smoke takes the curves of a beautiful dancer. The lady beckons the drunken man to come closer. The poor devil touches the hand, which dissipates, once again, in volutes of smoke, such as the tentacles of an octopus. The man is hypnotized by the meander of smoke, which spread to the piano. 

The fat musician rises from his armchair, his two arms perfectly forward and straight. Like a sleepwalker, he walks, in rhythmic steps towards the musical instrument. The pianist plays a piece: the smoke dance to the sound of the black and white keys. A whiskey bottle, already open, releases its alcohol, which begins to dance, at the image of the waves along the beach. The glasses are turning on themselves, in a rhythmic flow. The statuette of a horse jumps on the neighboring table and gallops to the pace of the melody. The card games join in the festivities, twisting and turning according to the dance steps. Thus begins the evening party.

Reviews

[Jolan H]

Your Style is curious to me. I looked at some of your work and noticed when you wax poetic in your stories they seem more lively, as opposed to the airport story that seemed a little more stiff. This piece stands out because your descriptions add to the moment. The only hiccup is the word smoke. Find ways to eliminate it. Noxious clouds, souls of cigarretes drifting toward the divine, and heady mist all do the same thing but add to the what already have

[Pennywriter]

Sincere thanks for the constructive comment. I truly appreciate it. Lesson learnt and jotted down.

[Jolan H]

I do it too. You should see what happens when I want write fight scene in a first draft. I throw everything out just to smash action figures together

[Robert Trakofler]

This reminded me of the smoking caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland:) a nice melding of scenes Mr. Pennywriter

[AJNJ]

A very lively and invigorating description of a party coming to life. The smoke haze is toxic yet intoxicating. Live before dying. Well done!