Final Chapter

All things end.

Black Swan ~ Final Chapter

It has often been said that you have to do something ten thousand times before you truly master it but if this is true then I have no hope left, for I have loved and lost too often in this life, and I cannot do that again.

Damn this emptiness, this hollow feeling where you know the right thing is to feel joy for the person you loved, but no matter how much you pretend to be happy for them -and part of me truly really genuinely is because as cheesy and trite and cliche as it sounds, good people like her deserve happiness- there is also this void in my heart that comes from knowing now that what we had -something I thought to be pure and constant and immutable- was for her so easily replaceable all along.
The emotions of unrequited love feel gentle and kind when compared to the brutality of a heart broken when love flourishes in mine, and withers in hers.

But here is the truth: this is all just selfish hyperbole and know I’m a totalprick for feeling sorry for myself.
The fact is that we had a good thing that ended the moment I left the country; as we both knew it would. The simple difference is that she has moved on while I am still stuck. Reliving memories of us in my mind which have already faded in hers.
I know this, yet still I keep poisoning myself with thoughts of her; I try not to think about her, I really do, but just can’t help it.

The painful lesson learned yet again is that most things that bring us true happiness are as fleeting as the shadow of the sun. Yet I know that this is a truth that I will forever rediscover for as long as I breathe, and gladly so. For what good are the sun rays that break through the clouds if we are too afraid of the coming rain to appreciate their warmth?