On Being Funny

On Being Funny

A Chapter by Aram Alexander

NOTE: This was written many many years ago by an insecure, introverted, distrustful boy; now all I have left in common with who I used to be is my name and the fact that I’m still pretty damn hilarious. And modest too! ;D




You don't know me, and you probably never will. No, please don't stop and stare, I don't like it when you get too close. For my entire life people pass me by, and now I am used to it. Anything else would confuse me.

Okay, okay, I actually have a lot of friends. You see, I make people laugh; I'm the 'Funny Guy'. Because when people are busy laughing they are not thinking about what is going on in my life, they just think "Man is he funny"... and funny is good.

There are some people that say I'm too funny, that I need to grow up and take life serious. What they don't know is that my life is serious enough without their help. Sure it's easy to look at me and judge me at face value, but they don't know the real me.

There are others that think I am bad. Bad for myself, and bad for those around me. I hope not, I never thought of myself as being bad, just funny. Look, I know I'm not anyone's idea of the perfect person but what's wrong with laughing? Isn't there enough misery in life? Laugh in the face of agony.

I am more comfortable when you ignore the real me, the one I never let you see; I keep him hidden where he is safe from you. Because if I let you meet him, you have the power to hurt him, and that isn't funny. I have been hurt before and I wanted to die, and maybe on the inside I did a little.

Do you know what that's like? To find out that the world isn't safe like you thought it was? I found that out early in life. I wanted the world to be a safe place but it didn't work out that way. Do you think I wanted to go through life like this, hidden in plain view beneath a masquerade of humour and laughter? Do you think I wanted to lose my innocence? Well it's not a safe world at all. So you are better off to just laugh at it and keep absolutely everything at arms' length.

Oh I know there are people that don't approve of me and that's okay, because if I don't have your approval you leave me alone and that's the way I want it. I don't like it when you are in my life trying to figure me out. It bothers me and I don't want you getting too close. Close isn't safe, you get too close and then you can see things I don't want you to see; secrets about my past that I prefer to remain hidden from you.

Now I know that you will assume what everyone else does, my secrets are bad things I've done, and yes, you are very right in that respect, but what if I told you that some secrets were messed up things that happened to me? Would it make a difference? Would you accept me then? But you see, I don't want you to accept me because you feel sorry for me, I want you to accept me because you like me for who I really am.

So please just let me be funny, it's where I feel safe, and if you really can't let me be funny, then just leave me the hell alone. I laugh through my tears, and that isn't funny.



Epilogue:
Since then I have learned to embrace (for the most part) who I am, flaws and all, and screw everyone who doesn't like it. Sure, I still keep some things to myself, but who doesn't? Talking about being bullied doesn't bother me anymore, and I've become much more of a people person; I can genuinely enjoy a conversation with anybody about just about anything. Of course, sometimes I still love to be by myself and with my thoughts. Once a loner, always a loner I guess. ;)

 



© 2013 Aram Alexander


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Added on July 31, 2013
Last Updated on July 31, 2013


Author

Aram Alexander
Aram Alexander

Jogja, Yogyakarta Special Region, Indonesia



About
I'm just a regular guy who does regular things. Meaning I enjoy pizza, the company of dogs, occasional inebriation, equal parts worthy literature and brainless Hollywood fare, and spontaneity of the .. more..

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