I Am The Monster

My heart and soul rage within me
like a malicious demon
seeking to escape its fiery prison.
Chains of woe shackle my very existence
as the blood boils within me
and my flesh begins to rot
with the foul stench of iniquity.
I’m lost within a chasm
encrusted with chaotic malcontent
and blood stained devices seeking screams of pain
and perverse misgivings.
Pray for yourself they tell me…
Offer yourself to God…
Let the light fill your soul…
yet I feel forsaken.
I fill my world with love…
I walk amongst the wicked and offer my hand
to the very foul creatures
that the bearers of this so called light
would quickly cast aside
and yet I am just as quickly forgotten.
I judge not yet I am judged…
I curse not yet I am cursed…
I refuse to throw stones
and I am met by an avalanche of accusations
and razor edged labels of inferiority.
I weep for those in pain
as my hand is slapped aside when I seek some release.
The demon rages…
he breathes fire and plague into my very lungs
laughing and dancing
upon my crumbling will.
His minions beckon me
offering me the embrace I’ve never had
lusting for me to give over to them.
I can feel their very breath upon my back
their claws digging into my mind as I sleep.
I’ve always harnessed the weapons of love
held true to my oath of devouring other’s pain
yet now I fear…
that pain is turning me into a monster.

©Brandon R. Province 2010