Dance Me Down the Boulevard

Woman, you've got me fixed

between your forefinger and the splinters

embedded under the ridges of your prints.

I can feel the strings rise from my limbs

when I look to see that your breasts are exposed

and your feet are not.

The flaming curls under your harlequin hat

give me the shakes and for some reason

I'm thankful to be your plaything

when my body buckles with desire and

tenses those slackened tethers.

Dance me down the boulevard, Darling.

Pull those strings that make me say things

I may not mean and do things I wouldn't normally do.

God damn you, woman.

Truthfully, tell me, how long do you expect

to keep me as your rag-doll? I ask only for

my own curiosity, really. My intentions

have always been clear here, a puppet head hung in

welcome submission; and it never occurred to me

to wonder what yours were.

Even as your fingers twist and tug, and my naked body

is paled by the spotlight of your smile,

I am only exalted to be your private prancing prince.

Author's Note

The only thing I'm not sure about is the title.

Reviews

[PianoandPage]

there is a wonderful style and texture to this. the pace is almost conversational or rather a soliloquy sounded out in love-mad mumblings.

you have some brilliant lines here and it is refreshing to see a consistant metaphor from beginning to end instead of random bits and pieces tacked together.

you use alliteration extremely well and it ended the piece perfectly.

i think the title is just fine. i wouldn't change it.

[TadKent]

I like this a lot. The title and and line (Dance Me Down The Boulevard) are genius.
As for content, very thought provoking, haha. :) love the words you use : "body buckles" and "slackened tethers", also "spotlight of your smile". Very good stuff. = ]

[Antonio Valentino]

This is pretty awesome. It has so many layers it could be interpreted in so many different ways. Qutie provacative, with a nice edge put on it.

My title might be, Strings Attached.

Very well done!
Antonio

[Ms. Gruye]

the title is certainly a good choice.
I think the world of this piece. It started very strong with great imagery and masterful word choice.

I do suggest removing some bits that become a little too first person:

I may not mean and do things I wouldn't normally do.
God damn you, woman.
Truthfully, tell me, how long do you expect
to keep me as your rag-doll? I ask only for
my own curiosity, really. My intentions
have always been clear here, a puppet head hung in
welcome submission; and it never occurred to me
to wonder what yours were.

these lines in particular are as strong as what are before or after them. I think you will find that removing them will make this piece absolutely perfect. Often when we write poetry bits of personal scaffolding remain: the raw emotion, image or event that sparked the poem but is no longer necessary to sustain it.

You've got a great talent. onward and viva la

[Leap]

Amaz-azing. The opposite perspective is told so well darling. Each individual line is strong enough to stand on its own, especially: "Pull those strings that make me say things," and "when I look to see that your breasts are exposed and your feet are not." Everything referencing puppets on strings...so good. I love the spontaneous feel and the piece, as a whole, has a calm, collected and accepting tone to it. I like to succumbing to forces of nature...like love.

ps - I would keep the title exactly as is.

[DavidRyanM]

I dig this a lot, dear. I love the little descriptions like, "Your breasts are exposed, and your feet are not" and My intentions
have always been clear here, a puppet head hung in
welcome submission." The second one being completely dynamite and, from what I feel, the strongest line in the piece -- which makes the fact that it's in the middle of the poem amazing. If you're unsure of the title, I actually like, "Dance Me Down".