Northern Lights

 Your stare is a sunspot on my mind
livid and hinting at something deeper.
The black hole I feel knowing,
I will never see a comparable beauty
to the aurora that graces my horizons.
Majestic roses and dusty blues, royal purple
the magnetic pulse between us is it's cause.
Nebulas glittering low and heavy with lust
just above the rough edge of evergreens that cut the sky.
Tears like the softest rain clinging to the air,
refusing to let go or allow me escape.
My speckled self is hardly worthy
of such precious dew, when together
we seem so limitless,
sparkling celestial bodies no galaxy could contain.

Author's Note

Written years ago.

Reviews

[Dillon Cotter]

majestic, different, and beautiful. You flow of wording and description gives great imagery my friend. well done!

-Will

[Mariah]

The imagery in this poem is amazing, period. Not only does it seem real, but it's vivid and colorful. Yes, I saw, in my mind, the entire color spectrum throughout this one poem.
It shall go into my library. Very inspiring.

[Kathryn]

Lovely write. I like that it reminds me of the "Super Nova" piece of yours. I'm a fan of nature expressing love myself. Beautiful imagery. You really have a knack for expressing the English language. Great diction.

Old perhaps, but it has potential. I think you should come back to this piece and re-work it. I'd love to see a version two.

To Fix:
A comma after "mind" in the first line
The second sentence (lines 3-5) doesn't actually have a verb that I can see. Perhaps: "The black hole I feel IS knowing..."?
Another sentence without a real verb: "Tears like the softest rain clinging to the air, refusing to let go or allow me escape." Try changing "refusing", which is describing tears, to an action: "refuse".
between us is [its] cause [RULE: it's= it + is, therefore if you want 'it' to be possessive, you just use 'its']

[Leap]

Why are you so good my dear. I don't know how many years ago this was written but it seems as new and fresh as your most recent pieces. The imagery is incredibly vivid. It's beautiful.

[DavidRyan]

I'm beginning to fall in love with you. But, now that I know this was written years ago, I've found I only love the past you and am fond of the new one. Well done, dear. You have a way with words that I haven't been able to find in too many people's writing. I'm astounded by you most of the time.