Barking Mad

He hadn't wanted her dead.

No, that wasn't true. 

He hadn't wanted to kill her. No, that wasn't true either. He hadn't meant to ACTUALLY kill her. That was more accurate. His fantasies had been twisted, yes, downright grotesque. But they had been just that- fantasies. Thinking about killing her wasn't the same as actually killing her. There was a difference. Thinking about it wasn't bad in itself- Thinking about it might have even been normal. And he was normal- He wasn't one of those psycho's that actually took pleasure in killing somebody. 

Although. 

He couldn't be blamed for the slight sense of...something that washed over him when she finally hit the ground. Not relief, really. Something less. A kind of calm. He had panicked as she stumbled down the stairs. The snap of her neck about halfway though her fall had made him flinch. He had been worried. He hadn't chased after her, hadn't tried to ease her fall- That would have been absurd. He would not have been able to stop her fall. Or worse, he would have fallen with her and that would have been two people dead. Two people for Amy to mourn. 

His stomach twisted. Amy. His poor Amy, who would have to come home to a dead body. 

No. He wouldn't let her go through that. He made his mind up in a second, gripping her by her foot and dragging her through the living room and towards the kitchen. 

She was heavy. Solid. In every way. She had come into his home and taken his Amy and taken up all the space with her voice and her laugh and her personality and he had hated her for it. Which was natural. She had trespassed into his territory and his special girl. Amy was too good for her. Amy kept the kitchen stocked with snacks, kept the water warm just the way he liked it, ran her hands through his hair while she talked. She didn't even realize she had been doing it. Susan said he was spoiled, too attached. 

Susan was the one that was spoiled. She took and took and took, made Amy cry more than she made her laugh, and Amy always forgave her. Amy loved too much and Susan took advantage. Susan wouldn't let him sleep with his Amy, saying he had his own bed. His bed had been Amy's long before Susan. 

His bed would be Amy's again. 

That cheered him up. Susan was dead and she wouldn't be able to take all of his Amy's attention. 

He was digging now. He never dug in Amy's special garden with it's soft green grass and wild purple flowers. Amy would take him outside when the sun was out and cuddle up to him while she read. Sometimes they would play fight until Amy lay on the ground laughing until she cried. 

He looked down. He would need a bigger hole. He kept digging. 

He remembered the first time he had met Susan. He had been surprised by how much he had disliked her from the first moment. He hadn't disliked Immanuel or Maria or Gemma half as much. He had even liked Maria. 

Susan had walked into the house and remarked on his looks, saying his hair was too long and curly, he needed to get a haircut. Amy had giggled, defending him and saying she quite liked his hair the way it was. Susan talked to Amy as thought she was a child. She made decisions for her a lot, acted like she was always right. 

And she was stubborn. At least Immanuel and Maria and Gemma knew thier place. They backed off when they saw how good he and Amy were for each other. He hadn't had to push too much with the others. They knew they were temporary. Susan thought she was forever. 

He snorted, rolling her body into the hole. It was darker now. He had been digging for a while. His hair was matted with sweat and dirt.There was dirt underneath his nails too. Amy would help him clean up. She would run him a hot bath and sit in the tub with him like she used to. 

He was patting the last bit of dirt unto the hole when he heard Amy's car pull up. He studied his work for a moment before trotting into the house, closing the kitchen door behind him. Amy was setting brown paper bags unto the counters. She smiled when he walked in and he forgot for a second that he had spent the whole day burying a dead body. 

"I see you've finally decided to be normal" She said, crinkling her nose at the dirt he tracked into the kitchen. He smiled at her. 

She pulled a mint chip cookie out of one of the paper bags and gave it to him, and then walked out of the kitchen. She was calling Susan's name. 

He nibbled on the cookie and waited for her to realize she wouldn't get and answer. His heart clenched when her voice died off. When she walked back in the kitchen, she was frowning. 

"Huh. I guess she isn't home yet. Maybe she's having one of her 'I need my space' weeks" She sighed, and then perked up "C'mon, lets go give you a bath, Maxxie" 

She barked at him and jumped into her arms, licking her face until she was giggling. 

He wasn't a murderer, technically. He just loved his Amy. And she loved him too.