He Called My Name

 He Called My Name

 

From ashes of the past, it came---
This voice that called my very name
And drew me closer to death's edge
Still wrapped within a lost love's pledge.

He'd spoke those words I longed to hear
In whispers heard by just my ear.
He'd carved his place within my heart
And left it rotting, torn apart.

His grave lay deep and dark and damp;
Yet, there, I wandered like a tramp
Compelled to listen and obey…
A maggot drawn to death's decay.

His evil plan was my demise;
A starry sky, the perfect guise.
Romance had borne a blackened rose;
Its scent quite fragrant to my nose.

Again tonight, I walked that path
Oblivious of aftermath
And fell still deeper in that pit
I've come to find a perfect fit.

I feel the mud that buries me
Within my own insanity;
While others never hear his voice,
Within my mind, I have no choice.

 

Reviews

[Trée]

Hauntingly beautiful. I found the phrase 'I feel the mud that buries me' to be particularly evocative, the image appearing before my mind as if I were sinking, slowing in sucking brown mud. Whispers within one's own ear and a heart left rotting and torn apart--renders the heart. Very good work Sharon.

[Salvatore Buttaci]

Sharon, being partial to form poetry, I like this poem of yours. The rhymes are not contrived; they move my eyes from word to word in a rhythmic ride that was well worth the trip.

Sal

[doreen cyr]

wow so dark and full of pain great write my friend
doreen

[Suelou]

You've out done yourself here, Sharon. Very well written.

[angelinmypocket]

How many ways can a love lorne heart be beguiled? There certainly must be hundreds. I've heard it said that the devil can appear as the most desirable vision possible. Could that be the case here? I think you have outdone yourself with this dark write Sharon. The emotional mystery is so prevelant, it literally saturates the vision. It's one to give pause for thought. Very good, very dark.
Love...Liz

[BLFK]

This sounds like a painful experience. . . Of course it doesn't matter if it was fiction or not. Poetry is poetry, and we all have our ways of writing from every situation. . .
Honestly, I found this to be quite interesting. You carve rhyming into each phrase, which is fine, but I'm not used to. I enjoy things that I'm not used to. I'm not about to be negative on your piece. I wouldn't want you to think that.
My favorite part of "He Called My Name"?

"He'd spoke those words I longed to hear
In whispers heard by just my ear.
He'd carved his place within my heart
And left it rotting, torn apart,"

I can relate with that. If I can relate, many others will be able to as well.
Good job on a nice piece. Keep on writing. . .

BLFK