The Handsome Stranger and My Stream of Conciousness

I'm so upset. If I don't see him again, I don't think I'll find a partner. Not unless I find his features in someone else. I'm such a mess.

Oh! Universe,

Please be as kind to let our paths cross again.

My heart won't take another second without him.

Every star that appears after the sunset are my birthday candles.

It would be so damn cruel as to see our story end.

I can't tell if my heart is in between the sheets

Or if my eyes are favoring the eye candy.

My thoughts aren't so depraved as they are described.

Oh, but a kiss. 

A kiss is all i desire on the inside.

But only if I knew what I'd do after.

Universe,

I feel like a child who wouldn't leave the shop,

Until her mother buys her the toy she wants. 

Tears would fall, and the child would fall to the ground

Where a tantrum disturbs the adults around her. 

Oh, I'll be good if you give to me want I want.

But this is no boy-toy.

His perfect brown skin tone causes confusion of if he either would be

Native, Chinese, or South American.

His gaze reminds me of the morning sun.

His style is just so f*****g impeccable.

Jean jacket and a clean cut.

The way he runs his masculine hand through his short pitch black hair...

Universe,

Let him be forever and always,

Mine, mine, mine. 

Author's Note

What grammar problems do I have, if you see any?

Reviews

[Number Six]

If I hand't seen that you're from Canada, I could've sworn that you were one of my friends.

I actually do not see any noticeable grammar problems. It seems to be very well written.

As for the poem itself, It's passionate, full of young energy, and greedy. You can almost hear the person's voice as he/she laments the lack of the stranger in his/her life.

I also love the detailed use of description, very nice.

If I might ask, was this poem based on your own thoughts or was it crafted out?
Either way, I enjoyed it quite a bit.

I hope to see some more of your writings around the site. Good luck!

[Peaches]

Thank you so much for taking the time and giving me feedback. I'm very happy that you like it.

This is made from my own thoughts that was created from an actual encounter with a stranger.
I will definitely post more poetry in the future. Thank you, again.

[lostnstars]

this poem is perfect. it's like you're begging the universe and faith to let him be yours and it's pretty cool. and i love your poem. i'm gonna print screen this and read it again. thank you for the amazing poem!