These Battered Shoes

We are all a tragedy away from homelessness.

These Battered Shoes

Wish you could feel these eyes upon me

Telling me it’s the life I choose

I wish I could loan you this weary body

To walk a mile in these battered shoes.

 

I don’t recall the thing that broke me

As if one thing can break a man

I just know that this life that wears me

Was not considered in my plan

 

Yesterday I walked with Jennie

Climbed life’s mountains

Crossed life’s streams

Everyday her face is fading

I rarely see her in my dreams

 

I met Jen when she was 18

I was barely 21

Jen believed I could walk on water

We made a life, then made a son

 

Jamie died when he was thirteen

A reckless driver stole our boy

Part of me was buried with him

Along with all of Jennie’s joy.

 

I cursed the God that took him from us

As I kissed my dead boys brow

And watched him lowered into nowhere

I thank that God, he can’t see me now

 

You see a man that held his head up

Through thick and thin and almost all

One day my feet were firmly planted

Then I had to learn to crawl

 

Sometimes I feel Jen’s arms around me

In a lonely spot on a lonely night

She whispers lies to gently soothe me

She tells me all will be all right

 

Then the cold of the ground that owns me

Reminds me that my Jennie’s gone

There are no loving arms around me

Just reminders of a world gone wrong

 

Are you so sure that you can judge me

Do you really think this is the life I choose

How I wish I could convince you

To walk a mile in these battered shoes.

 

Dignity belongs to no-one

Evanescent as the dawn

One day it warms us with it’s presence

Then we blink and it is gone

 

I built houses for a living

Up until that nasty fall

There’s irony in this world we live in

We look for more when we have it all

 

I could build you stairs with perfect rhythm

Hang a door as right as rain

Make you proud of the house you live in

Before my Jennie went insane

 

I only wish this would alarm you

But you’ll swear it cannot be

That yesterday I stood where you stand

I was you, you could be me

 

How many miles to the next tomorrow

Tell me that it won’t be filled with pain

Assure me that I won’t ache with hunger

Or a make a bed in the pouring rain

 

Every day I search for Jennie

A kindness life cannot replace

The currency I humbly beg for

Is a trace of Jennie in your eyes or face

 

Is there a way out of this darkness

Is there a poem to make you see

That gaping chasm that lies between us

Is simply filled with tragedy

 

You may see me in a drunken stupor

Confirmation of the view you choose

But before you add to my degradation

Take a walk in these battered shoes