Isolation

You don't really want it.

I have led my life into ruins

With my own two feet and my misleading mind

I have walked into a black hole

Where I am the only one

The cold darkness narrates my sad story

It laughs to see me cry

It snickers on seeing my distorted heart

That keeps on bleeding bloods of pain.

I have build up walls around my tiny self

Barriers to prevent anyone get close to me

The walls prevent sunlight and the fresh air

From reaching my invisible figure

They prevent the tweets of the early morning birds

From reaching my ears

They prevent the beauty outside

From reaching my vacant eyes

And they prevent all the love in this world 

From reaching my lonely heart.

My voice box is a little box of acid

My words are toxic so I keep my dry lips tight shut

The magnetic field that has built around me

Keeps away even the smallest living being

I reek of sadness and pain

My scent is even more harmful

Than the chlorine they used in gas chambers in World War II

I am a radioactive being.

Sometimes I wonder 

'If I die of an unknown cause and they cut me open

Will their eyes pop out to see the blackness inside of me

I laugh at myself

Because I am the only one responsible for this

When they cut me open, will they know that?

But no, not anymore

Because today  I will change

I am standing with dynamites in my cold hands

To bring these walls down

To break free and walk in the sun again

To feel the soft grass beneath my feet

And hear the sounds of this beautiful world

To scream and shout and live my life again

I will be alive again

I will learn to feel again

I will be myself again.

Author's Note

coming from a very very deep part of my heart...please don't be harsh but suggestions will be alright.

Reviews

[RachelReaper]

I had to learn this two years ago, I wasn't... alive. Not really, breathing but not living, I wouldn't let myself. Once I broke the barriers down, I needed somewhere to put all of the emotions that before I wouldn't let myself have... I think that's when I found writing. I could relate to this so much.

[Lonely Islander]

I'm glad you could relate to this. I have been through those 'breathing yet dead' phases too...got out of them as well but they sure do suck! Thanks for the review Reaper.

[T*Fuyumi]

I agree with your small print under the title, I really don't want to isolate myself, but sometimes I feel safer.. But yeah ^^ I like how organized your poem was, from how you led yourself, to the building of the walls and its effects, to what is happening to you, etc. What caught my eye was when you talked about them doing an autopsy and seeing blackness inside, had an imagery effect on me! Your last stanza is really powerful, I hope you'll succeed ya! Sadly, I'm still not ready to come out of my box yet x) Oh! Just one teeny weeny grammatical error! "Barriers to prevent anyone get close to me" should be "getting" ^^ Good job girl! I enjoy reading stuff that are able to pour out my feelings into words :')

[Lonely Islander]

Thank you so much! It means a lot and i guess it depends on people whether they want to come out of their box or not. And yeah ill check that mistake. Thanks again:-):-):-D.

[Sami Khalil]

I like this poem a lot especially the ending ...:)

[Lonely Islander]

Thanks so much:-):-):-D.

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)

[teardrop]

really emotional and deep.
like the last three lines the most.
powerful read.

[Lonely Islander]

thanks:):):D

[Pax]

wow... indeed what a read...
totally relateable feelings and emotions...
all in all i enjoyed the ending much for its speaks of hope and a better future..
well done..

[Lonely Islander]

Thank you so much:-):-):-D.