Itching and Twitching

I'm sick and have nothing to do but write :) Not sure if that is a bad thing <3

To be torn apart by love is horrid; leaves a scar that no miracle can erase…
Yet it is worse to be ripped into shreds by that love and still be able to forgive.
It’s worse to be ridden with illness, lonely, and cold and still want to turn to them.
That is worse than any torture imaginable.

I sit in a chair,
composed of pain,
wishing this fever would break.
Glance at my phone and feel that twitch.
That itch that makes me want to search your name and claim another dagger.
Every time I hear your voice-technical or not- it shoves another knife into my soul.
yet I still turn to you for comfort.

So I busy my traitorous self with typing out this message.
To warn others of this bittersweet curse I bear,
for I am sure others out there,
feel exactly the same way.
Plus this keeps me from another knife,
at least for a moment.