The thing I done done

While I'm willing to freely offer it to you, in keeping with the growing pains of consortium, all I ask in return is that you should be so inclined to allow me a moment of tutelage, if you will.

That I may give you the gist of it, a bit of instruction on how it works.

 Nothing will please me more than to know that you have gotten the maximum return on your investment.

 It's only fair.

 Because, and as my gift, my quintessence, is as a waning crescent,

 the darkest of my nature has been masked, more so than those of the light, and so by has brought me aches and pain from which I have yet to rid myself.

Until now.

I hope.

In the end...this gesture of mine is not without a dose of cynicism on my part, but your understanding and acceptance is all the gift I want in return. I need it.

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

What are you willing to give up in exchange for love or other things of value?
A good take on this subject.

[M. L. F.]

This piece is deep and pleading. A concern for the other and a need expressed for the self, a deep need, all at once so eloquently said.
Great piece...

Misty

[Deco]

It's mostly about the things we all want; Love, and the need to be accepted in our pursuit of it, more or less, and the things we're willing to do to have those things. And also inviting people in by laying ourselves bare. At least these are the things I tried to convey here.
Thanks for stopping by :)

[M. L. F.]

A concept I am currently exploring, with my shields up high.. :)

[Tony Jordan]

To see others flourish under our tutelage must be such a fulfilling thing. Its no wonder that teaching is a vocation, a calling for most not just a career. I never thought of it as a kind of craving or addiction but that's what this make me think of PD Gaiya - addiction but not to drugs or drink - to tutoring.

[Deco]

Thanks Jordan. I quite like your perspective on this. As this is a poem, such a conclusion can be drawn from it as well.

[Tony Jordan]

Welcome PD Gaiya.

[alanwgraham]

This is a very tough one to interpret! Something is being offered in exchange for tutelage on how it works. The phrase 'the growing pains of consortium' is puzzling - should it be the consortium? My own preference is to start with some mystery and uncertainty but to move towards a conclusion that is clear. My own feeling is that you've not given us enough here.
It is very interesting though and leave the reader with a ?
Regards,
Alan

[Deco]

The idea in this "prose poem" is basically along the lines of the narrator's willingness to freely offer his soul(quintessence) to the one he loves. Because he's at a point where he feels a need for partnership (consortium). His clock is ticking, if u will, in a way that he has "growing pains" about it. And all he asks is that she gives him a moment to tell who he really is, to explain the workings of his soul (this is where tutelage comes in. perhaps it was the wrong choice there) because he's afraid that while he loves her enough to give his soul, he's afraid she might reject even that. Because as a "waning crescent" darkness prevails more, in his soul, than light. This gesture he says is only fair if, after his explanation, she should accept him knowing he's not perfect. This is what he hopes for, as cynical as it might be. He just hopes she understands and accepts him.

[alanwgraham]

Thanks for that. I'm not too good at reading between the words. That has helped lot.
Regards,
Alan

[alanwgraham]

You shouldn't feel like that at all , certainly based on my review. As I said it is me that has a problem with interpreting poetry that is not literal. My own preference is for a easy to understand message but I know that there is lots of great poetry that is not like this. I suppose poetry is like everything - you have to work on it! Getting constructive reviews is great and you can learn a lot. I have been able to improve my writing by getting helpful advice on WCafe. You have to be discriminating though - some reviewers will just say 'great write' which makes you feel good but does not always reflect the quality of the writing. As a reviewer you also have a responsibility - biginners need encouragement, while experienced writers deserve an honest review.
I hope you persevere with this!
Cheers,
Alan

[Deco]

Not at all, I don't feel distraught by this. It's just that in the past hour I've gotten a message in my email from someone suggesting that this poem of mine is patronizing in a way that suggests that my reader is stupid, and so they should sit a be taught by yours-truly. Which couldn't be farther from the truth. And so "...not my medium," I suppose, was a passive response to that. I can be like that sometimes, employing ambiguity with my words and ideas, which was the mindset i took into writing this poem. Really just a play with words i thought I'd share afterwards. I have no illusions of being a poet, its just that accusation that is a bit disconcerting.

[Deco]

Let me know what it says to you.