Can You Feel Me?

 

Can you feel me?

Can you feel the heat as my hand moves across your chest?

My legs as they intertwine with yours?

 

Can you smell me?

Can you smell the lingering fragrance of gardenias on my skin?

The slightly feminine scent, mixed with something more earthy?

 

Can you taste me?

Can you taste the fruited balm as my lips turn up to meet yours?

Reminding you of summer days and sweet cherry koolaid?

 

Can you hear me?

Can you hear my voice speaking softly in your ear?

Whispering words of love and longing?

 

Can you see me?

Can you see my loosed blonde hair falling all over your shoulder?

Do you see the hunger in my eyes, blue as the sea?

 

I can see you.

I can see your dark, penetrating eyes looking deeply into me.

Mirroring the hunger in my own.

 

I can hear you.

I can hear the sound of your heart beating, solid and steady.

Picking up the pace as I run my fingers through your nearly black hair.

 

I can taste you.

I can taste the saltiness of your skin after a long day of work,

As I move my tongue down the length of your body.

 

I can smell you.

I can smell the musky scent of your maleness.

As I breathe deeply, wanting to revive every sensation with your essence.

 

I can feel you.

I can feel the electricity that is always there between us.

Increasing the urgency of our desire.

 

You are a feast for my senses,

A banquet existing purely in my memories and dreams,

A fantasy to be seen only when eyes are closed

And heart is open.

 

And the question arises,

When all is still at the end of the day and

You are lying with eyes closed,

Can you feel me?

Reviews

[Adrian K. Smith]

This was awesome, freaking awesome! Okay, perhaps I am looking at it from a way too detached point of view - not getting caught up in the emotions, but it is because of the way it was laid out - the order of the senses. By ending with "sight" in the middle, reversing the flow with "sight" to start, you relegated it to the middle - the least important of the senses. Well, for me. I know some people will think it is the creamy center of something tasty; but I do not care what they think. When it comes to sensuality, sight is simply the weakest of the senses. You start with feel, you end with feel before asking that question... where feel means more than just touch.

[emma]

wow. i'm blown away. great job! i fully enjoyed it :) please post more!

[Nishant Gupta]

nice one do read mine too "QUEST OF LIFE".

[jess]

this is pretty goood

[Caydie Hall]

wow this is juicy. and i long for an answer to that question as well. can you feel me?
"Feel" is my favorite word. because it is all we have, a long for. it is so passionate and powerful, a feeling.

[Skelasoldier]

Wow you used all the sensory components in this poem, Excellent work I have never seen a poem that has ever displayed them all in this manner

[Kayleen]

very sensual. very good

[Alex]

Five stars, my friend. I really like this poem., for a few reasons.

One being that I can feel (and see, and hear...) what you're conveying. your strong emotions about this man are inevitably strong, and you write it out beautifully. It's simplistic wording did an excellent job; if you had put too much detail it may have ruined it. The way you started with "feel" and ended with the same also made it very nice to read. Pleasant and well flowing, well done all around.

[emma]

This is magic!! It's very sensual and I found the way you have visualised all the senses very powerful,
Rare emotions that we all crave.
I read this poem back, omitting the second 'can you' and 'I can' and felt that it read with a lot more impact. Just a pernonal point of view though. I still think it's amazing!!!!

[Mark]

"existing purely in my memories and dreams...", "...seen only when eyes are closed,..."
This isn't a real, tangible lover, is it??
It's her fantasizing about the man whom she knows to be out there, but not where he is
exactly, and wanting to know if he, too, is dreaming of the ideal woman to one day share
his life and body with, and if it might be her, perchance?
G'head, tell me I'm wrong!
Check out my "Ode To An Un-met Love" for another perspective.
A terrifically evocative and beautifully constructed poem, Paza!!

[<3 Simply Rebekah <3]

awww i love it its so cute and loveable
I could totally picture all this strong images you had going!
it was beautiful!