Depression

Feeling that betrayal in my heart, betrayed by someone I love so much. My mind doesn't know where to start, a sort of confusion in speaking of such. I'm not sure where to begin, these feelings will crush me if not dealt with properly. I'm tired of playing pretend, i gotta start looking at the actual reality. Always defensive, some what pretentious, highlight of my life trying hard to fix this. Broken beyond repair...
A cold soda and a warm seat for me to sit displeased with my means of despair, did she really ever care? My only involvement in social construction was linked up with her's, could it be any worse?
I just wanna make amends with myself, the only way I'll find some peace of mind. But a part of me dies when she leaves and the other part of me is intent on suicide....close my eyes and hope to die...