Memoirs of a Madman

I told you I was crazy, sadistic and a little narcissistic maybe. One minute I'm manic the next I'm suicidal, underprivileged and entitled king baby. I swear I thought I told you that I'm crazy. Clinical disorders malfunctioning brain waves, insane to the norm unhealthy human form. It's a wonder that the government doesn't pay me. I'm almost certain that I told you I was crazy. My track record shows that I'm crazy. Insanity under canopy of the punch drunk calamity, defiant and reluctantly lazy. Now I know that I done told you i was crazy, Mentally unstable and abrasive. Thoughts constantly racing, deranged and full of hatred. It's such a shame all this brain that I'm wasting. Facing amazing changes in the same arrangement's basis, the memoirs of man who's gone crazy.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I liked and I understand this poem.
"Facing amazing changes in the same arrangement's basis, the memoirs of man who's gone crazy."
Once I was call the mad Poet of Monterey. Sometime a little madness is okay. Thank you Payton for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Payton ThaProphet]

Thank you for reading and writing a comment. Im glad I found a place to bring my writing to.

[Coyote Poetry]

Always good to have more mad-men and you are welcome.

[Egonarc]

you could do with just one of these sentences, "I'm almost certain that I told you I was crazy. My track record shows that I'm crazy."

other then that its really a great piece just not for this contest.

[Sinbulvinter]

Very good rhymes here and choice of words. This is really raw and honest and I love it. Great job.

[barleygirl]

This is fun & entertaining & nicely tongue-in-cheek. It's got a better sense of rhythm than another one I read of yours recently & the sporadic rhyming works well. Most sparkling is just the way you are acting kinda crazy & making this all about being crazy, but in a comedic & slightly exaggerated way. It sounds like something a stand-up comic could do, using plenty of body comedy.

It's a little more TELLING than SHOWING. It would be good to use a few whacko examples of crazy instead of just repeating the one-dimensional claim of being crazy. Here's an example, instead of the repeated refrain about being sure he told the other guy . . . it's good to put a twist on a refrain so it doesn't sound exactly the same over & over to the point of boredom . . . so you could say something like: I thought you would've figured I was crazy when I (describe some wild-a*s thing the guy did here). These are just ideas to take your writing out of TELLING & using more SHOWING which is the hallmark of good writing. Thanks for accepting my heavy-handed comments this time.

[I Am Svetlana]

I really admire how you hopped around through different mental states...how ones mind can be so dangerous, especially to those who have no idea what's going on inside. I have a secret fascination with those who are 'mentally unstable' or have serious mental conditions. Just like getting to know a whole new type of human being with endless outcomes. Great dark & powerful write!

[Payton ThaProphet]

I'm glad you enjoyed it, I love that I found a place to connect with other writers like myself.

[Vria P Crow]

FIRST IMPRESSIONS

Firstly, I have a morbid interest in madness. The length of this prose poem allowed the reader to digest and attemped to understand what was going on in the writer's mind.

CONTENT AND FORMAT

The speaker was clearly erratic, perhaps on the brink of a breakdown. I admired how these memoirs reflect honesty for most would not admit to being narcissistic.

Frankly, I did not see a madman. The saying, "Someone who is crazy does not know they are," came to mind when I read this. The word "crazy" carried around taboo or negative connotations. We have struggled with inner conflict, identified as mental illness. This included anxiety, depression, mania, and so on. The government was alluded to which illicit thoughts of welfare. Most who have filed for disability will be rejected just like the speaker. At this point, the reader related to the narrator's panic. What will the speaker do for money? There were clues spread through the poem of what mental illnesses the speaker was experiencing: mania, depression, sadism, and narcissism. Addictions such as alcoholism was suggested from the phrase, "drunk calamity," which struck me.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Overall, I enjoyed this read for its brutal honesty and realism. The repetition further confirmed the speaker's feelings about himself. Thank you for sharing!

sincerely,
ria

[Payton ThaProphet]

Thanks. You should check out some of my others.

[Vria P Crow]

You're welcome. I shall take a look see.