Swing Higher Daddy

Death transcends all civilizations. That was my thought when I watched a father pushing his son on the swing. The little boy was as happy as could be, telling his father, “Swing higher daddy.” One day, the little boy will have to push himself. Daddy will be gone. He’ll probably feel alone and wonder where is his father? Then, he’ll be in my shoes. What type of shoes am I talking about? Probably the black ‘Stacy Adams’ I never wore to my daddy’s funeral. “Swing higher daddy.”

                Now, I’m sitting in the park feeling regret because I never said goodbye. Well, goodbye is a little generic, but how else can I express all the emotions that’s within me? How can I tell the man who raised me that I love him or I am so proud to have him as a father? “Swing higher daddy.” Daddy I need you to live. I know how tired you are but please try, try to live. Live for your children. Never in a million years did I think I will be reflecting about all my unsaid thoughts. “Swing higher daddy.” All the words, I’ll never hear him say again. “Swing higher daddy.” All the truths, I’ll never hear him respond to. All the anger, I never expressed. “Swing higher daddy.” All the times, I wanted to forgive him.

Now I am sitting on wooden bench thinking about all the somber and better times. His comfort when I needed it. Who will comfort me now that he is gone? “Swing higher daddy.” Who will tell me everything will be ok. “Swing higher daddy.” I guess, I’ll have to embrace myself during those sad moments when I am reminded him. “Swing higher daddy.” Somehow, I think he know all I wanted to tell him. Still, I wish I’ve said more. Damn.