THE MISSED CALL

All that I needed was a call from you.
My life crashed and I was left all alone.
In the end I asked myself, "where were you?
And why couldn't you have answered the phone?"

You were sleeping around with other guys,
I knew I was the one you should be with.
You thought that I'd always believe your lies.
Now that nothing's left, who are you left with?

Now you're on your way home, and all you found,
Was me. I was left lying on the floor.
There are notes that were left for you to find.
As you read one aloud you hit the floor.

I want you to know how much I miss you,
And only remember me loving you...

Author's Note

Comments?

Reviews

[SuperChick62]

I really like the last two lines. Very poetic. Did he commit suicide? If it's not about a real event, I think supposed suicide of the writer a little tacky. If it wasn't based on a real event than perhaps just a note, and not him on the floor. To be honest, that kind of turned me off. It was based on a real event, you should've mentioned it.

Other than that, it was a very nice poem and story. I really liked the emotion in it.

[Secondhand sunrise]

It was more of the emotions from a real event. The man in the poem did commit suicide, but I see what you mean by it being tacky. I may have to adjust it at a later time.

[SuperChick62]

Perhaps play more on the emotion of the event as opposed to the event itself. That might get rid of the tackiness. It isn't your poem that makes it so, just I've read so many poems who try to do this, so in order to do it and make it work one has to go above and beyond.