Who am i today?

f**k this s**t

Some days I’m Boromir, a weakling, easily manipulated and put under a spell (by mostly food and obvious bad decisions), and some days I’m Faramir, a fighter, a leader, and an embarrassing disappointment to my parents, so much so that they would attempt to bury me alive.

One would say my social life is based on the novel Push by Sapphire, and now that is the last time I smile when someone gushes over how sweet I am and calls me precious.

How old is too old to still worry over the purpose of meaning? Maybe I will find myself at 42 and I’ll finally be able to say “so long and thanks for all the fish” or maybe, maybe I should just quit with the references and get to the bleeding point.

I am in a bad place in my life. Suspended, not standing for so many things that I should, and falling for things I wish I wouldn't.

How do I know I’m in a bad place?

The fact that I’m willing to talk to anyone. I am willing to talk to anyone who would care to listen. I am willing to share my deepest most sacred thoughts with people I wouldn't know from a random pebble in the street.

What am I planning to do about it? I wish I knew. If I did, this post would not exist. One day I hope to start my sentences with “Some days I’m Pauline, a fearless, courageous and loving warrior of the chosen people, and other days I’m Maya Angelou incarnate” but today, today there is a vanilla sponge baking in the oven that has me under a spell, and it’s looking very interested in what I have to say. So you can pretty much guess who I am today.

Author's Note

feel free to point out any grammar problems

Reviews

[Alvin L. Kathembe]

How old is too old to still worry over the purpose of meaning? That's a deep question right there.

Maya Angelou was Boromir, at first. I'm sure she had her Faramir days too. We all do - But she ultimately CHOSE to be Maya Angelou, Phenomenal Woman. Point is, we are never one thing, or one person. We go through cycles of strength and weakness; that's how we are built, that's who we are. That's our nature, we can't change that. But we can CHOOSE to transcend our nature, to be much more than we are.

We are who we are, and we are who we choose to be.

So, you ARE, and can be: Pauline, a fearless, courageous and loving warrior of the chosen people; when and if you choose to be.

My two cents.

:)

P.S, writing is a great way to purge, isn't it?

P.S.S any sponge cake left over?

[Pauline]

Sensei
thank you :-)
and yes , it is THE best way to purge ... im grateful