I like it. Great title. The title put its arm round me and drew me in. I like the broken glass crunchiness of the poem. I also thought, lets get through all the truthes and lies, move beyond them all. Lies have their place just as much as truthes, don't they? Lies can be our friends. Sometimes lies are all some people have. And how many times do people say what is the truth? So lies are fascinating concepts. Your poem makes me think. If a lie will ride with us when a truth will not...lets ride! I wonder how many of us pass a day without telling the odd lie. Life wld collapse without lies and liars. Also it would be immeasurably duller.
A poignant piece, and one that I'm sure deserves some voice time. I liked the overall message of the poem, but I suggest that you concentrate on free verse, rather than rhyme. It will get your meaning across without having to ensure that every other line matches the other. Rhyming, though making for fun reads, and having a place of its own, is not really meant for socially affecting poetry. Beyond that, rhyming a socially impacting poem brings the significance down and leaves the poem wanting for a spark to bring it to life.
It's obvious that you have the talent. Don't undersell that talent by killing your voice.
BRAVO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Incredible write! This is the first piece I've read from you but I'm vastly impressed! Your style is conventional, but your wordplay is exceptional and very intelligent!!!!
ard,
Countries are made to die for,
Oil is meant to lord.
Blood is meant to spill,
Cars are made to crash,
Food is meant to starve for,
Sorry if my words are rash.
Dope! Your lines are incredible! I love every subjects meaning! Very smart write! I'm snapping my fingers in applause!!!
I know I've already read this, but the title drew me in again. This time my reaction to line three was a profound, very strong no, no, no! I suppose it just shows that we react differently to things depending on the moment we experience them.
That is sooooo true. That was a wonderful write. I think everybody thinks about that sometimes. AWESOME WRITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All the truths I thought I knew as a child have changed. I suppose that is called the loss of innocence. This poem poem reflects the realization of that loss. I love your insight in this piece, but I still feel there is more good than bad in the world...more good human beings than bad. But, your work cannot be denied. Great piece. Rain..
Well done. It's a frank depiction of the harsher side of life. Sometimes we like to hide from these parts of life, but this puts it right in the readers face. It raises the question of why do we strive and try, something we should always contemplate.
I like it. Great title. The title put its arm round me and drew me in. I like the broken glass crunchiness of the poem. I also thought, lets get through all the truthes and lies, move beyond them all. Lies have their place just as much as truthes, don't they? Lies can be our friends. Sometimes lies are all some people have. And how many times do people say what is the truth? So lies are fascinating concepts. Your poem makes me think. If a lie will ride with us when a truth will not...lets ride! I wonder how many of us pass a day without telling the odd lie. Life wld collapse without lies and liars. Also it would be immeasurably duller.
What about me? I havent been around the site much but i miss getting everyone's great review, ideas and suggestions. Writing is an amazing emotional outlet that has helped me through some pretty rough.. more..