Brixbane

Wait for the moment, wait somewhere free.

Up in the mountains, perhaps out at sea.

Sit on your street curb and count cars for an hour.

How many were there? That memory won't sour.

But the hours keep on passing

And you've things to see

The world isn't waiting

So why are we?

Reviews

[Ethan]

This is great! The only phrase that trips up your meter is "perhaps out in the sea." I'd suggest changing it to "perhaps out at sea" to eliminate the extra beat and allow the line to flow with the rest of the poem. Other than that, great job!

[.]

. wow ... well said, buddy ... this is brilliant ...