Best Friends

It was one of those days

Started with the shower

She wanted to join me

Which in any other day would’ve been great

But her best friend was sharing it sort of to speak

It was a sympathetic sort of share

Which was true

The wife did leave me on the Friday

To visit her mum

Coming back on the Monday

So technically she lied

Coming back on the Sunday

A good lawyer would pick up on this immediately

Granted, when I told her best friend she had left me

I maybe forgot to mention it was only for the weekend

Anyway, back to the problem at hand

The shower has packed in love

Okay sweet chops, I’ll be naked waiting for you

Right love, oh god don’t go into the bedroom

You b*****d

She went into the bedroom

So anyway, since it was Sunday, I popped out for the rolls and papers

He did this every Sunday the Lawyer explained

Two Police cars, sirens blaring flew up towards the house

So as the Judge stated, jailing her for 90 days, taking into account the mitigating circumstances in this sorry affair

Could have been a whole lot worse I suppose

So I was at a loose end, and a visit to the hospital was long overdue

Naturally I took the obligatory grapes and flowers

Technically she was still the wives best friend

But my god, if you could’ve seen the venom coming out of that one good eye

I swear, if she could speak through that wired jaw

I would have got a right ear bashing

So I sat down on the bench eating my grapes, thinking

I do hope they two can put this behind them

Probably laugh about it in 83 days.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This poem appears to be a culmination of your jaded lifetime spent watching bizarre people & reading the gossip rags, then multiplying all that by the milky way and adding a moon or two. Whereas I scroll Facebook for less than 5 minutes, thinking: I don't have anything to say to the masses, out there doing what they do & under the impression it's newsworthy . . . whereas you spend a lifetime observing the same (in the flesh) & turning out ridiculous poems to illustrate the ridiculosity of the most common human concerns (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Paul Bell]

The human being in action, they make films about it.
This would be a great comedy.

[Sherri Moshman Paganos]

This was great, Paul. I love the way you tell this story with such a sense of humor and irony ("the obligatory grapes and flowers" the "venom coming out of that one good eye") I look forward to reading more.

[Paul Bell]

Funnily enough, they two never spoke again.

[Sherri Moshman Paganos]

Life takes strange turns ...

[Paul Bell]

Mind you, the guy did say he would mediate for them.

[Betty Hermelee]

Funny as usual Paul, a lot of mistakes and misunderstandings, but the way you put the whole thing together is very clever and hilarious!!!
Best, Betty

[Paul Bell]

It was an unusual day.

[Betty Hermelee]

Yes indeed, great job of confusing me , just kidding!! I love your clever pieces!

[mattavelli]

Hello, Paul! :)
It seems to me that all the fouls here offset each other. Thanks for sharing this funny story.

[Paul Bell]

It was a Sunday, weird day in Britain.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

This darn site...I wrote a long review of this...but it wiped it away when I tried to post.
Fascinating write...his omission induces her commission of the crime...can't wash it away
no matter how many showers...
j.

[Paul Bell]

I know, it's bloody frustrating when the site steals it away, I'm starting to paste reviews now just in case.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I am doing same.

[texasjane]

You made me laugh. I would say the relationship was anything but poetry. Love your style. I will be reading more. Good job.

[Paul Bell]

Yeah, strangely enough they're not together any more. lol

[texasjane]

Does not sound strange to me. It sounds like a likely conclusion.

[texasjane]

I guess you could say they were in it for the exercise.

[Paul Bell]

He was very good at running. Mind you when a girl chases you with a shotgun it's amazing how fit you become. She's now found a new man and removed the shower. lol