The Bloodline. (Collab with Dhara Ditzy Kat.)

I don’t understand your families bloodline whatsoever. 

Why, it’s actually quite straight forward.  

We descend from the Kong Family which has the world's longest family tree. Look it up.

Big Joe was married to Mary, who was married to Keith. 

We try to keep it linear.

Keith was married to Joe’s half brother, Lenny, though this was a Tuesday Wednesday arrangement.

On Thursday Lenny is turning into Lana after a sex change operation.

Keith's mum got the call when she was passing the church.

With a pair of new silicon b***s to gift Lana.

What, do you mean she found god.

No, her mobile went off, that’s when it happened.

That’s when she found god.   It was a palindrome.

No, that’s when the big cross fell on her head. Or, was it a box of iron d****s?

Right, that's when the guy who found her, told her he was the holy one.

He was actually dyslexic, and it turned out he was telling her it was Harry, her long-lost son. She took him to an orgy once. She didn’t have a baby-sitter. Big Joe had been her date.

Right, so Keith and Harry are brothers.

Technically, no, let me explain.

Keith was Cathy married to Mary who was married to Big Joe. Cathy got her penis from Big Joe. He didn’t mind donating as he had a dog Harry with a sexy tongue. Now all are happy in the Kong family.

I told you it was a palindrome!

Reviews

[Betty Hermelee]

What a family tree; I thought mine was complicated, but this takes the case; it's so well done, so funny and
clever and everything else. I had to read it four times to get who was who , but is doesn't really matter it's the gritty humor that is the treat and the somewhat "catchy words"!!!! Great poem, keep writing these, I love them.
Best, Betty

[Paul Bell]

Had to read it myself and I co-wrote it. lol

[barleygirl]

I can't think of a more compatible collaboration than you two poets. This poem highlights everything that makes you two stand out among everyone else at the cafe. Your outlandishness runs in a similar vein and your inventiveness is off the charts, both of you! I'm writing a book about my mom & there are so many marriages, divorces, kids, stepkids, ex's & ex-kids, I had to severely simply my family in order to write this book! *wink! wink!* Fondly, Margie

[Paul Bell]

Hope you're changing all the names, you know what family are like, one bad word, and they're all outside your house baying for your blood. I like marriages and divorces, and more divorces, it shows the dumbness of the human race. lol

[Viktoria]

God....dog....a palindrome....that part I understood. Aside from that, this is one messed up bloodline that I am thankful not to be connected to! Reminds me of the long unknown cousins that appear from nowhere and land on your doorstep sometimes. Always the weirdest of the bunch.🌹

[Paul Bell]

Yeah, I've noticed these cousins are never millionaires.

[Tania Mo]

Hold on. Keith was Cathy and Harry was a dog hoe lol.Someone hit me with a steel d***o. I need to sober up.Just wen I think this is a boring site then BAM! this crazy hits us lol.

[Paul Bell]

This is what happens when the government locks you down and tells you to join a bubble.

[AYVID N]

I love how the generosity flew around in this one Paul. These people, all so connected lol they share their parts too. And God often lives in mobiles! If only he knew he was a palindrome!

[Paul Bell]

God through the mobile, gotta beat the usual, we're phoning about the accident you never had.

[AYVID N]

We're phoning about the ladies you returned. 80 years too late.

[Paul Bell]

Hate that sort of call, usually there's a police siren in the background, and you just know it isn't for the neighbour.

[AJNJ]

I must say Big Joe was very generous with his things Lol. Or should we say altruistic! I kept going back to read and re-read who was married to whom. You guys have given "Its Complicated" a whole new meaning!
So this was a collaboration with the cheeky Cat. I hope you team up more! This was hilarious.

[Paul Bell]

Just glad the family ain't in my bubble. Mind you, would I know. lol

[AJNJ]

We'd have no choice, er, I mean if we were hit by an iron p**sy or d**do.

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Well this was one complicated bloodline but we could get our heads around it! I heard Joe has applied for Bishop recently! Hahahahaha!
Love love love it!! Thank you for posting this one! I hope to get better at this with time. Haha!

[Paul Bell]

Yeah I think we done good. Enjoyed working with you.
Wait till you get the other 500 unfinished ones now. lol

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Oooooh!!
I like challenges! Bring 'em on Paul! 😹😹😹
If this was anything to go buy its going to make the Cafe a more than a little less dull hahaha!

[NotUsinganymore]

Very amusing poem about bloodlines. I use to know a friend who always bragged about sharing bloodlines with a legendary samurai but he later found out it was untrue.

[Paul Bell]

I know, we can always dig someone up famous we would like to be related to.