The Crows

Her mother had been dead a month now

This was her third visit to the grave

She had noticed the crows on her first visit

Sat at the grave four rows in front of her mum

They were back again today

There was something ugly about crows she thought

Like death was their home

She wondered why they only sat at that grave

Was there more than usual today

Maybe she was just imagining things

It made her uncomfortable though

She noticed more crows flying in

It was like they were waiting for something

Suddenly they began to claw at the grave

As if they were trying to get to the body

The clawing intensified into a frenzy

She could feel the noise pierce right through her

Then everything stopped

One by one the crows disappeared into the grave

She sat petrified unable to move

Like she was in some horror film

She waited for the crows to reappear

They didn't

A strange light caught her attention

She could feel herself walking towards the grave

Looking inside to what looked like a crypt

The stairs beckoned her in

Slowly she entered.

His father had been dead a month now

This was his third visit to the grave

He had noticed the crows on his first visit

He wondered why they only sat at that grave.

Reviews

[Marina]

This made me think of that old TV show, "The Twilight Zone" with its mysterious tales of the macabre. A murder of crows luring curious cemetary mourners to a creepy demise. Such an original tale you have written and indeed, very spooky. There must be quite a few corpses inside that crypt. This is the kind of tale I think Stephen King would enjoy. A fine tale. 💛

[Paul Bell]

Do we go onto Christmas poems now, or is that taking a back seat this year.

[John the Baptist]

I wonder what Hitchcock would have done with this one.

[Paul Bell]

He would probably puff on his cigar and tell me he retired on his feathered friends. lol

[Relic]

Those crows seem to know a lot about death and are good at luring people in. This is a great Halloween poem, I enjoyed.

[Paul Bell]

Cheers you up with all this bad news around.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Ok that was creepy Paul. Especially when we get to that final stanza and repeat the scene. Nicely described tableau and loads of scary atmosphere without overdoing it!

[Paul Bell]

You know it's coming to your door.
Oops, forgot that's not the case this year.

[barleygirl]

Whenever birds get freaky, people automatically think: Alfred Hitchcock. It's rare for someone to pen a freaky bird fest that can compete with "The Birds" but yours quickly takes on a life of its own & makes me forget all about ole Hitchcock & his feeble folly. Your poem really piles on the dread & suspense, nicely bordering on fantastical, but still seeming realistic, too. I find myself thinking the crows in your poem symbolize whatever is fluttering around in this narrator's heart & mind, like sometimes a person might want to delve down deep into the grave & join the missing beloved (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Paul Bell]

Spooky week this week even though Halloween has been cancelled. Poor witches made redundant this year.

[Tania Mo]

Great Halloween story lol I love it.Crows are cool.

[Paul Bell]

I'll get you one for Christmas. lol

[Tania Mo]

I'd prefer a budgie but ok

[Paul Bell]

A wee budgie low maintenance.

[Tania Mo]

An array of colors to choose from is what I like

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

This story is full of evil and intrigue. The crows are probably luring the people in and selling them to the devil! Or maybe the dead people are sending the crows out to fetch their loved ones to keep them compnay in the underworld. This poem is awesome anyway we look at it. Please write more such exciting stuff. I love it!

[Paul Bell]

Popping into see the devil, must be Halloween again, but then again.

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

I wish it lasted all year!

[Paul Bell]

Just stay on your broom till next year, nobody will notice the way things are going.

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

*chuckles and cackles like the witch she is*
Straddles the broom and takes off into the inky night!

[Paul Bell]

That's my girl. lol

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Always broom-happy !

[AJNJ]

Something remarkable is happening here. She enters the crypt and thats it. Then it repeats again with another indivdual. The crows are upto something and the reader wants to know what. You have created a thrilling and chilling poem here and perhaps one which may be extended into a sequel or left as it is. The crows in our culture have a sinister and slightly dark undertone to them. A fascinating read.

[Paul Bell]

I'm never sure if it's the total blackness of crows that make them sinister.

[AJNJ]

Theres something more......and thats kinda scary...!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Alfred Hitchcock would smile at this...
the ravens, the blackbirds, the crows all seem to have some symbolism to death,
to the transition from this life to the next...
and they always gather in groups...never just one...like they need each other. Do we need death somehow?
Maybe...or perhaps this is significant to the fact we never want to die alone.
really absorbing writing here, Paul.
j.

[Paul Bell]

Yeah, death and ravens definitely go together, like carriers of death.

[Broken.]

This makes me want to know a lot more about these crows, and where they go. Is it a portal to hell? Heaven? Purgatory? Another world or dimension? I am so intrigued! I especially like how the reader also feels like they are being pulled into the grave. If you can't beat em, join em, right? Nice work

[Paul Bell]

Just makes you want to go guising in the graveyard now.