The Restoration.

He always brought the subject up at the most inappropriate of times, usually when some c**t was trying to kill us.
Are you a believer now?
If I get out of this, I’ll think about it. We got out of it.
God was looking after us.
I would like to think my rifle was looking after me, but if you think it was your god bolt, or Jesus sticker, I’m happy for you.
Why do you never use the word Christian?
Probably cos I’m a non-believer.
You don’t believe God saved you today.
No, I believe I saved me today.
Let me read you this passage from the bible.
I’m already reading my own bible, it’s called playboy.
You do know that is demeaning to women.
I don’t know, did Jesus not hang out with a prosey.
Jesus saved Mary, there is a difference.
Oh, touched a nerve there Goddy boy.
I will pray for you.
Why do you people do that, why do you love sinners?
So we can show you the error of your ways.
Do you know what I think, I think you all get together at the weekends, you do all this God stuff, but it’s not really enough, cos you all agree with each other, so when I come along, and you convert me, it’s collective creaming? Am I right, or am I right?
Something tells me I will never convert you, but I’ll keep trying.
Why do you do all this bible bashing, I mean, you’re a great soldier, a thinker, that’s a rare breed in our game?
I want you to do something for me.
Is there a God involved.
Indirectly there is.
I’m intrigued, shoot.
If I die out here, I want you to go into my church and say goodbye to me.
How does that work, I don’t have to pray or anything do I.
No, you can run in if you want, say goodbye, and run out.
Okay it’s a deal, but I want you to do something for me if I die.
Okay then, what is it.
Right, I want you to go to the brothel. Now, this is very important, I’m onto the Chinese race now, so you must do your best for me.
You know I can’t do that for you.
Just testing you. Okay I want you to go into the brothel, give the money over to the lady, explain how great I would have been if I was there in person, but under no circumstances try to convert her, none of that self gratification stuff.
Okay, it’s a deal.

Tell you what Goddy boy, we could do with some divine intervention here, give your boss a shout. A small earthquake should do the trick.
So you’re a believer now.
If he kills all the baddies, I’ll convert yesterday.
See what I can do.
You’ve failed, let's get to f**k outta here, c’mon, now’s not the time to pray. C’mon Michael, Michael.

The town was a shithole. Not surprised you got out mate. I’ve only been here five minutes, and I want to top myself. The church had seen better days, half a roof, half of everything by the look of it. He loitered outside, trying to figure it all out. The walk in was a slow one. So strange, he felt like a child again, awkward to the point the words wouldn’t come out.
The Priest saved him.
You look lost my son, can I help.
Yeah, I’ve come to say goodbye to a friend, Michael Summers.
Ah,_Michael will be sadly missed, he was helping to rebuild the church. As you can see, we’re slowly but surely getting there. In a strange way, Michael's death has really helped, he left everything to the church.
How much more do you need to finish the job.
Ten thousand pounds, then the restoration can begin.
Your lucky day father, Michael left me money to give to you, ten thousand pounds to be exact.
This is truly  a momentous day, you don’t know how much this will mean to the community. The spirit will return now.


You b*****d Michael, I should have run in, and ran out. There goes my month of high class immorality, I can just about afford a pint in your local pub now. Christ, I should have given the money to the pub, what a dump. The only saving grace was the girl serving behind the bar. Gives a pint of what you serve here.
We serve beer, the same as every other pub in the world.
Okay, gives a pint of your worldly beer.
Did you fall out the wrong side of the bed this morning.
I’ve had a bit of a shock.
You don’t look the sort of person who shocks easily.
I was in your local church.
Funny, you don’t look like the sort of person who frequents Churches.
I’m not, I was saying goodbye to a friend.
Anyone I know.
Michael Summers, I don’t suppose he came in here.
You mean, Micky Summers.
I’m getting a sort of vibe here, did you know him.
Everybody knew Micky.
Tell me he tried to convert you to God.
No, that’s not the Micky we knew.
Okay, I’m getting that vibe again, fill me in.
Well, I suppose you could say, Micky was a nutcase.
What, no, we must be talking about a different guy.
I’m Micky’s ex, take my word for it, I watched him nearly kill three guys who got a bit out of order.
In what way.
They made remarks to me.
This is brilliant, glad I came in now.
You're like him, aren't you.
Listen, can I take you for a meal or something, tell you about the Michael I knew.
Well, there is only one restaurant in this town, it’s Chinese.
Fantastic, I’m sort into Chinese at the moment, eight o’clock okay for you.
Eight is fine.
Okay, see you then.

She was too good for you Michael. Christ, a girl like that is to good for any guy. I’m going to lie like hell to her, tell her you changed cause you loved her. Christ, I would change for a girl like that. You look after me Michael in your new position now. Did I tell you I’m moving onto the Japanese race now.

Reviews

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Sorry about Michael. The money is in good hands though. Even Michael is promoted. Win-win outcome. I'm getting good sorta vibe about the Japanese race too!

[Paul Bell]

Yeah, the cars are reliable, and they tend to be a happy lot. lol

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Great. Michael will be happy.

[Paul Bell]

Probably a saint now.

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

In the security business up there.....

[Inessa]

I believe those of us that believe in God are inclined to poke you with a big stick, Paul, but one thing I agree with in your tale is the rampant nature of moralising that believers possess. That need to look down on all those that don't believe, and label them as sinners that need saving. This 'conversion' is the hallmark of religions and it's something i never believed in. It's freedom of your choice for me. We can all make our own minds up about what to believe in. This is another cheeky piece of work. I guess God wasn't listening to Michael on that fateful day. Kind of ironic! I enjoyed your humour here.

[Paul Bell]

I always like the idea of others being religious for me, sort of keeps your foot in the door just in case of emergences. Maybe God needed Michael for other stuff.