Heaven and Hell

What are you doing up here.

Let me see now, I died, and now I’m entering heaven.

Oh, no you’re not, I’ve already spoken to Peter about you, and you’re not getting in.

Who the hell is Peter.

Saint Peter, the gatekeeper, and the keeperer out.

I thought you started afresh when you entered heaven.

Not to people who sleep with their wives sister.

I explained that to you, we were testing the bed.

And you had to be naked to do that.

Yes, it was a water bed, and you had to be naked to test it, plus, it was a present for your 40th.

I was 37 at the time.

I know that, but it was new to the market at that particular time.

Strange how you both still used it when I died.

How do you know that.

Me and Peter were watching you, collecting evidence.

That is disgusting, voyeurism from above, do you not have decency laws up here.

You did things with her you never did with me.

Yeah, but that was only because you were so house-proud, swinging on the chandeliers would have freaked you out.

You two definitely deserved each other.

Where is the sympathy for your poor sister in her time of need, sleeping all alone in that big bed.

Oh, she’s not alone, she’s with your brother.

What, I don’t believe you, I’ll need to see this through your celestial telly, and I’m telling you now, if I find he’s in bed with your sister, there is no way he’s coming up here when he dies, the cad.

Oh, I can just see me and Peter laughing at this during our Harp recital.

                               Amen.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Usually I can follow your all-dialogue pieces fine, even tho you don't use dialogue tags, but this one felt a little harder to follow which one was which, here & there. Maybe a few too many relational crisscrosses to muck it up. But as usual, your material is hard-hitting, no-holds-barred, & true to life. This is why I always say there's no such thing as "closure" . . . no matter how much later it may be, when two people try to discuss why their s**t went bad, it never feels anything like "closure"! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Paul Bell]

Won't affect us Margie, we're going straight to hell where it never snows.

[sette]

this is one funny but very inspirational poem and i sure as want to believe that there is heaven and hell at the same time

[Paul Bell]

I just wonder why they both begin with, H.lol

[John Alexander McFadyen]

This funny poem simply had me rolling on the floor as the dialogue progressed back and forth and the inevitable irony snuck in via the closing statements!

[Paul Bell]

Be fun and games when the brother and sister get up there.

[Einstein Noodle]

funny how we block the "all seeing eyes" when swinging from the chandelier ... the wildness of waterbedding drives out rational thought I suppose ... and its true .. as Jesus Christ put it those thousands of years ago: "19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, 21 envy,1 drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God." Galations 5 19-21 ... sounds like we're all going to need some big time help eh!? your sense of humor, timing and conversational banter never fail to entertain ...hope all is fine in yer world Paul ... Happy Suicide Prevention Day eh!? ;} love peace and health brother!
E.

[Paul Bell]

That's a strange saying. Happy suicide day. Mental health will explode after this pandemic is over. So we must keep our spirits up. I expect a comedy poem off you to boost our moral.

[Einstein Noodle]

i am terrible at comedy .. rarely do i even attempt the simplest of jokes ... i am working on something that is getting ripe :))))))))))))))))))))) perhaps over ripe :))))))))))))))))))))))) love on ya brother.

[Einstein Noodle]

ps. "Suicide Prevention .... Prevention sir! it was actually suicide prevention day yesterday .. the 10th. ;) nothing to do with your poem at all ... but health "experts" are concerned about those who struggle with isolation .. i don't see how it is affecting us all that much .. my children and now my growing grandchildren are buried in their phones ... not their surroundings ..

[Paul Bell]

Probably the best place to be wired to the moon. It's losing the internet that freaks them out.

[Einstein Noodle]

i suppose so :)................

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Oh my goodness we're bugged and that too celestially! And here I was thinking I'm keeping me tracks well covered. I thought Peter had holier things to do up there. Can't I report him to someone higher up? Sheesh. Thanks for warning me.

[Paul Bell]

This is the new heavenly technology targeting the bad people on earth. I myself am now helping old people across the road just to get my points up. Why do old people always want to cross roads.

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

They're practising for the final crossing I guess. Good luck with those points.
I'm in negative score so I won't bother haha

[Ankita Dwivedi]

I love the way you depict the sins of all beings and how the taste of one's own medicine is so bitter .People forget too soon , and never forgive .It is maybe to easy to just keep replacing people until , it isn't .I think peter should drink some cola , watch netflix and chill , for the man there should be left knocking on the gate of heaven ..Your writing style is unique and intresting ,tyfs.
Love , Ankita

[Paul Bell]

Don't think Peter needs to watch netflix, he gets live views every night from disgruntled spouses. Always someone watching you. lol

[.]

Voyeurism from above! Yessss. Just a shame the big man upstairs doesn't pay much attention to his own creation. Probably too busy watching the football game of the year, Devils Vs Angels. Your sense of humour hasn't withered in my absence, Paul. The wit is still shining, much like those pearly gates. Much enjoyed again!

[Paul Bell]

Think God gave up on his children a long time ago. Think he replaced himself with Facebook and the rest is'' history''

[Aradhana]

Wow!!!! What a mixture of sarcasm and taunts and irony !!! And the way your poem justifies tha saying " what goes around comes around". It was amazing 😍 mind blowing 😃!!!!!!! U nailed it!!

[Paul Bell]

He's still trying to get in. lol

[Aradhana]

lol!! hahahaha

[Inessa]

And so the wheel turns! Seems Karma even exists at the Pearly gates! I like the use of "celestial telly".....it makes one ponder if those dearly departed truly can watch us from beyond. You are quite the expert on the unhappiness that occurs between spouses. Hopefully not from experience! Witty, as always, Paul.

[Paul Bell]

Sure that Alexa is always watching and listening. She marked me a 6 for my performance. lol