The Girl On The Train.

The girl on the train

Going forward going back

Different city same location

Miles hiding into miles

The girl on the train

Going forward going back

Searching faces, studying

Looking for that sign

The girl on the train

Going forward going back

Getting off, pausing

Staying on, evaluating

The girl on the train

Going forward going back

New faces emerge, but one

Eyes now engaged

The girl on the train

Going forward going back

Compromised

Eyes now locked, destiny awaits

The girl on the train

Going forward going back

Three passengers left

Time now critical

The girl on the train

Going forward going back

The train stops

They begin to rise

The girl on the train

Going forward going back

Eyes lock as guns come into focus

A shot from behind

The girl on the train.

Reviews

[Dave Brown]

I took this as being a lady looking for a gent, but the gunshot put a hole in that possibility.
It also took me back to my first heart throb, with me being a pretty inexperienced, young guy, who tried mightily but never got to completing that final step.
Then she went away to edjemucathion in Europe and the very first guy she met on a train had the pleasure

[Paul Bell]

Trains are great, you can start a romance at one station and end it at another.

[emmajoy]

Could see this as a silent movie, only the sound of the train on the move, perhaps a startled gasp once or twice but.. no more. For some reason extra, do see this in black and white, shadows and streaks, lashes moving, face tightening, etc. It's vivid, tense, quick then fast, faster'; short phrases exaggerate the drama of what's going on. Dramatic, exciting.. finely written. Could well come back to read again because,, it has depth and emotion there between the lines.

[Paul Bell]

Reading is becoming the major pastime now, Emma.
Tell me you're halfway finished the book you're writing. Keep well, keep writing, things can only get better.

[Rania M]

Oh my God! That was quite a jolt you delivered there. You pulled me into a reverie, a romantic expectation and then boom!
On a more serious note, as I went back up to read it again from a different perspective, I realised how terrified she might have been, counting on the odds to escape her imminent fate. Was she running away and was being stalked? Perhaps yes. Yet the dark overtook her after all.
Phew! You delivered a great punch there!

[Paul Bell]

Never underestimate a woman, especially one who puts herself up as bait. Never trust the third man on the train, especially if he's behind you.

[Rania M]

Ohhh okay...could she be a gangster? Wow! I was indeed wondering about the ‘guns’ yeah, there was more than one!
I usually don’t step into public transport here but yeah traveling in a near empty train would be scary!

[Paul Bell]

Yeah, I take it you have to keep your wits about you.
Still like the idea of the sun and the beach mind you.

[Rania M]

Aww nothing can beat that ;)
I prefer it to an empty train anyday!

[Einstein Noodle]

AHAHAHA! I love a fine story of intrigue and murrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrderrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! fantastic movie of the same name in my opinion ... and the repetition of, what is actually Einstein's theory of relativity to some degree. ;) i think i just may have to take a long train trip before the end of the line ... yes! its doable for me ... you've inspired me Paul ... V5 Ls 3&4 ... marvelous turn says i! ... enjoyed reading
E.

[Paul Bell]

Me and you on the Orient express causing havoc.
This is doable. lol

[Einstein Noodle]

all right!!!! packing a bag right now!!! :)

[Dara]

This is a very intriguing write. At first I imagined her to be looking for a lover, "eyes now locked, destiny awaits." but by the end I realized it was more likely an ex lover she was trying to escape. I loved the repetition and rhythm you have incorporated here, almost like the rhythm from the movement of the train. Very nicely done!

[Paul Bell]

Don't you love the rhythm of trains.
Was she running or was she the bait.

[Dara]

I am still pondering that one. :-)

[Dara]

PS Yes, I love the rhythm of the trains. They are fun to ride on too.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i see this metaphorically...i imagine a girl who is in an abusive relationship...wanting to stay on the train to avoid going home to her abuser...and yet finding that even the train doesn't feel safe.
and she becomes suspicious of those last passengers...her paranoia because of her home situation makes her think one of those three is waiting to get her alone...it all feeds her fear.
and then she cries..."the tracks of my tears"---
she wants a destination to get her life back.
j.

[Paul Bell]

Always loved travelling on trains, studying faces, they all have stories to tell. Some good, but yeah, some not so good.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

oh yes, used to ride the train to Carbondale and back from Homewood...on the Illinois Central, the one Guthrie sang about....
passing by the fields....not exactly the most scenic ride, flat as a table and nothing but corn fields...but good for falling asleep. Unless I had someone close by to chat with...ah, close by, I remember how that was, just a couple weeks ago.
j.