The Dumping

I met Sally tonight and she’s really down.

Who’s Sally.

Sally, the girl you dumped last month.

Do believe that was by mutual consent.

Anyway, I told her you would meet her in the bar tomorrow night, where she will dump you in front of all her friends, hence building up her self-esteem.

Yeah, no problem, I’m going to the football tomorrow, it’s on the way.

You would just go into a bar and get dumped and ridiculed.

If it builds up your friends self-esteem, no problem.

This will be in front of all her friends, and that doesn’t bother you.

Why would it bother me, it’s not like we’re together.

You really amaze me at times.

I know, just a regular good guy.

You do know she’s going to humiliate you.

I’ll take it like a man.

You would just let that b***h humiliate you in front of everybody. You sure you don’t still have feelings for her.

Okay, something just happened there. She's gone from best friend, to b***h. Did I miss something.

Yes, you did. No one in their right mind would walk into a bar to get dumped.

Have I moved into the twilight zone here. It’s not real the dumping. I’m doing your sort of best friend a favour. Or at least I thought I was. Are you on drugs or something.

Don’t try and turn this on me. No guy in his right mind would do what you're doing.

Let me rewind here. I’m watching the football. You come in and give me this scenario. I agree with it. Now I’m a nutjob.

Of Course, you're a nutjob, no guy in his right mind would agree to do what you're doing,

I can see why your last boyfriend joined the priesthood.

He didn’t join the priesthood because of me. He got the call.

Sort of wishing I got the call too.

That’s it, see tomorrow when Sally dumps you. I’m going to be beside her, and I'm going to dump you too.

So I’m going to a pretend dumping, a real dumping, the football. Does it get any better. Someday i’m going to understand women. Though by that time, I’ll probably be declared insane.

Reviews

[Ardra]

Oh paul... :p
I missed reading your poems...
Heheh thats one wonderful write ( i am still smiling at how i can relate to it hehehe )

[Paul Bell]

This is you, isn't it. You would just let me do that. lol

[gram linski]

very enjoyable, brought a smile, you have to take it on the chin sometimes, had conversations like this myself

[Paul Bell]

He probably never noticed.

[Cherrie Palmer]

Great use of levity and wit
with a very natural flow. It was entertaining and fun.

[Paul Bell]

Would this be you, Cherie.

[Cherrie Palmer]

Who me na, I'm Irish I've never needed my ego boosted :)

[Paul Bell]

Like Irish girls, they know how to laugh.

[Cherrie Palmer]

That's a fact laugh a lot and yell a little

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Paul I’m sixty now and I still don’t understand my female mind (hint we live off our emotions) lol ps that was a big hint 😯. All that aside love the humour the dialogue the flow the banter I love it full stop ✋ got a laugh out of it too

[Paul Bell]

See, I knew I wasn't mad. Probably why football was invented. You need a good laugh to get you through mad times.

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

Lol yes
I agree

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahahaha love your scenario and great man revealing conversation between characters ... is he talking to his sister, new love, mom??? gotta say, i love that guy! ...he's a trooper wonderfully insensitive and caring at the same time ;) ... fake dump and real dump ... at least he will have the football to comfort and console afterwards ..and perhaps all the beer he can swig before the dump ;) thanks for the humor and fine chuckles as i read :)
E.
ps. love your story telling Paul ... or....it this just another day in the life :)))))))))))))))))

[Paul Bell]

I thought this happened to every guy. lol

[kentuck14]

Paul,
A really funny poem . . . sounds like a verse-play they use to do in the old days (T.S. Elliot and others). The human parade on view! You really think this guy's gonna understand women someday???!!!! No way! I myself have only an inkling, and that has been doled out piecemeal over many years. A "pretend dumping"! Where did you say this bar is and when is this suppose to happen? My passport is all ready.
Tom

[Paul Bell]

The pretend dumping. That didn't bother him.
The real dumping. Didn't bother him either. The football team losing on penalties. Sent him over the edge. On the plus side, he did buy a blow up doll that doesn't speak.

[Mrudula Rani]

No guy in his right mind would do, what this person is willing to do!
Is he applying for sainthood or under the total spell of a football game?

[Paul Bell]

Well, the football was on the way. lol

[john l smith]

perfectly normal situation in every respect.
Was she going to have a full glass in her hand?
possibly a bit more realistic had it been done at center field just before the national anthem was sung
I dunno, maybe not

[Paul Bell]

That would be a total riddy.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

what a great twist...she is really the one who needs revenge, not Sally...
i love your sense of humor...
hope the football game was worth it....the stop-off before.
and part of this also shows how guys can be so thoughtless, so unaware of how their words and actions can hurt others.
well done.
j.

[Paul Bell]

Just getting to understand the female mind. lol

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Indeed one needs a certain modicum of insanity in order to survive in the "Me Too" world lol! Loved this witty little bit of repartie. Flowing and filled with great dialogue.

[Paul Bell]

Thank god for football, the get out of jail card.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Rugby dude, rugby union!