Fifty Ways To Dump Your Lover

She was definitely dumping him
All she needed was the right opportunity
It was like that song
Fifty ways to leave your lover
Now just to get it through to him
You’re crap in the sack Jack
If only you were more like Stan
What a man
Or even Gus
Though you do have a lot in common with Gus
You always go by bus
God, you’re so last year
Out on your ear
Okay maybe that was a bit severe
Need a new plan
I’m just going to tell you straight
Before it’s too late
Don't come on all coy
There's something I have to tell you
It's about me and Roy
I’m having his boy
I know what you’re going to say
What happened to Lee
Let me see
It started on the bus
Him and Gus
I don’t want to discuss
Okay, well Stan caught them
Do I need to spell it out
Stan said they were all like brothers
Now it seems they two are lovers
Stan was devastated
I mean, was that in the plan
Anyway, Roy told him about us
Which was fatal for you and Gus
When the driver braked
Driving the bus
Stan no more
So I end this letter
Missing you Jack
Such a young age to leave
Just turned fifty, lover.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I love the way you remind us of the song with your names & some of the action, but this is also pure originality in your usual fun, slapstick way! As soon as I saw this title in my newsfeed, I had to click, & I knew it would be a great walk down memory lane. Ahhh! When I had so many clowns to sort thru! *wink! wink!* Thanks for starting my day off with mirth (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Paul Bell]

Knew I would lure you in'
It's that dirty mind of yours working overtime.
What a way to go mind you.

[Lea Sheryn]

Absolutely delightful! The memories of a great song just came flooding back. I'll smile for the rest of the day. ;-))

[Paul Bell]

It is a great song, feel I've tarnished it now. lol

[Lea Sheryn]

I like it. It's nice to remember old songs and to view them with a new twist.

[Mrudula Rani]

The storyline; her plan spins like a carrossel with so many suitors... jack, Stan, Gus, Roy, lee! Did I miss any other? A busybody isn't she! Good luck to Roy, who is going to have a boy with her!

[Paul Bell]

Sadly Roy died in suspicious circumstances. lol

[Margie F]

Paul, sounds like there was a lot of leavin' going on. :) From every direction.

[Paul Bell]

Was a bit of a weird bus journey.

[kentuck14]

Paul,
You rung the 'bell' on this one! Sounds like you could write for daytime TV soap operas! "Oh what tangled webs we weave, when first we practice to deceive." "You're just crap in the sack, Jack."
Dosen't that happen a lot in old age homes?
Tom

[Paul Bell]

Can't wait to get into an old folks home, get to sleep all day and play all night.

[kentuck14]

Not sure that' how it is, Paul!

[Paul Bell]

Probably not, but I'm thinking about my future.

[Wild Rose]

I remember the song (but not the words)

Was it a different way for all your lovers
Or just the ones you could remember

Good laugh

[Paul Bell]

Just the ones who dumped me. lol

[Wild Rose]

I/we just drifted apart > Should say got on our bike and left for pastures new

[Paul Bell]

That's the way to it.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

A piece of satire written with more twists and turns and word play that I know how to shake a stick at. Kept me descending into the depth till the final lines!

[Paul Bell]

You need a laugh during brexit. lol

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Indeed so. Let's just get it done says I!

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Haaaaaaa! Such a great parody Paul! Only you could pull this off with such elan. Clever, clever wordplay, plot twists, rhythm and rhyme. Definitely gives the other Paul a run for his money! Now your delightful lines will be in my head all day- yay! Of course, You Rock!

[Paul Bell]

Hope the other Paul didn't mind. lol

[jacob erin-cilberto]

as the others have said, a bloomin' cool parody on the Paul Simon song...
it's Simon with a twist...not exactly what Simon says...and certainly not Simple simon...but a very clever adaptation that had me grinning for the whole ride...and not wanting to get off the bus.
j.

[Paul Bell]

If only it was that easy. lol

[Neville]

How bloomin cool is this... well done you... the only thing is tho.. I've now got the tune so firmly in my head try as I might, it is lodged there on a loop... t'wood also make a great spoof recording for a musical comic, I reckon..... N

[Paul Bell]

Must admit, it is a great tune. lol

[Neville]

It is but there is a limit to everything... :)