The rain had brought the animals into shelter They were wary of him He could sense their concern The smell was wrong He was the unknown He felt the same Always out of place His mind drifted back Her face came into view The words distorting Anger through the tears She would find another He was sure of that The snake slithered over him Curious, but alert to danger Trigger alert, just like him He hated going back They hated him Jerk water townsfolk They flew the flag But not for him His surroundings suited Camouflaged, just like his life They came into view Four shots, death in the rain The animals scattered for a time But slowly returned They were wary of him The smell was wrong Dead humans appeared to surround him Her face came into view The words distorting Flags were waving She understood now The animals began to accept him He was part of the surroundings.
Paul,
I like the way you keep coming back to the line . . . "the smell was wrong." My impression: This man is the presence of death . . . not just in war, but as a pervasive reality that animals do not readily understand. but yet, "the smell was wrong." This poem is both mysterious and somehow compelling.
Tom
Posted 5 Years Ago
5 Years Ago
He definitely dealt out death. But ultimitely died in the process.
Is ignorance a bliss to the animals. As for us, humans think we are better. But truthfully we are far from it. Nice piece of writing, dark, haunting, stark and real. Makes you face reality head-on.
Posted 5 Years Ago
5 Years Ago
Sometimes I think we could learn a lot from animals.
This is grim
Were I an animal (what?) I would never trust a human.
It is true that animals (but not all) will eventually ignore the human who stays perfectly still, especially camouflaged.
Poor stupid animals don't realize what devious, cunning beasts we are as those sorry, pot shotted souls were to find out.
Dave B
A very few people seem to be accepted as "same" in the animal kningdom, maybe they have souls re-born from nature ?
The rest of us should not be surprised that they are so wary for we are the hunters ..
I confess, I don't know what this means. I read your other reviews, but I'm still unsure if I can see this message the same ways. As I read this, I get humans & animals relating to each other similarly, seamlessly . . . and later . . . these relationships are unchanged in death. This is how I feel, having lived with animals all my life & in the wilderness for half my life. I don't feel as separate from the animals as many city folk seem to . . . ??? You are a very intriguing writer! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie
Posted 5 Years Ago
5 Years Ago
He was a sniper who lived in the animal enviroment for obvious reasons. Wild animals are always wary.. read moreHe was a sniper who lived in the animal enviroment for obvious reasons. Wild animals are always wary. But he stayed in position so long the animals accepted him. Then when he died, they definitely accepted him.
5 Years Ago
Even after you explain, I'm still dazed & confused! You have a most unusual way of coming up with a .. read moreEven after you explain, I'm still dazed & confused! You have a most unusual way of coming up with a storyline, methinks! *wink! wink!*
i agree with Coyote...we eventually rejoin nature in one way or another...and in death we are finally accepted? it's unfortunate but probably true.
This write really took me on a journey...and i am feeling inspired by this work and your poetry in general.
j.
Posted 5 Years Ago
5 Years Ago
Thanks, Jacob. Don't know if January is the depression month for death.
In death, we rejoin nature. A interesting poem shared Paul. You took the reader with you to the proper ending. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote
Posted 5 Years Ago
5 Years Ago
Yes, for a time we belong to nature before returning to it. Nice thought on a Sunday.
I like poetry and stories that tell me something.
Sometimes the shortest poems hit the hardest.
If I post something serious, don't worry, a funny poem will follow. Don't hesitate to tell me if my po.. more..