Best Friends.

It was one of those days

Started with the shower

She wanted to join me

Which in any other day would’ve been great

But her best friend was sharing it sort of to speak

It was a sympathetic sort of share

Which was true

The wife did leave me on the Friday

To visit her mum

Coming back on the Monday

So technically she lied

Coming back on the Sunday

A good lawyer would pick up on this immediately

Granted, when I told her best friend she had left me

I maybe forgot to mention it was only for the weekend

Anyway, back to the problem at hand

The shower has packed in love

Okay sweet chops, I’ll be naked waiting for you

Right love, oh god don’t go into the bedroom

You b*****d

She went into the bedroom

So anyway, since it was Sunday, I popped out for the rolls and papers

He did this every Sunday the Lawyer explained

Two Police cars, sirens blaring flew up towards the house

So as the Judge stated, jailing her for 90 days, taking into account the mitigating circumstances in this sorry affair

Could have been a whole lot worse I suppose

So I was at a loose end, and a visit to the hospital was long overdue

Naturally, I took the obligatory grapes and flowers

Technically she was still the wife's best friend

But my god, if you could’ve seen the venom coming out of that one good eye

I swear if she could speak through that wired jaw

I would have got a right ear bashing

So I sat down on the bench eating my grapes, thinking

I do hope they two can put this behind them

Probably laugh about it in 83 days.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

You have more imagination than any five other cafe regulars! But this one takes your imagination to another realm. I had to read it twice to wrap my head around all the wild-a*s nuances flying left & right. The flow of this felt a little confusing for me, but that might just be becuz my life has been simplified (i.e. single) for so long, I can barely function where so many others dwell. Thank you for once again reminding me why I've been single all my life (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Paul Bell]

This is a normal weekend in suburbia, Margie.
That's why the divorce rate is so high, and Vicars are out of work.

[Melissa Murray]

This poem is so man. Having just ended a 15 year relationship, I recognize someone near and dear and thank God now far away from my new life, in it. I want to laugh through most of this poem with the thinking that goes on, the justifications, the syntactical reworking of reality that appears to make things ok, the eagle eye view from the outside-above interrupting the excuse making, and whatnot, until the grapes and hospital part. I do want just a tiny bit more of a bridge note so that I can follow the sequence (this this is a little bit of a narrative type poem). I'm not entirely certain what happens between the going out to get ("popping out" so proper for an ugly moment...hahaha) the rolls and papers and the police and the hospital, though it's obvious there's been a battle. More on the grapes, please. Love it-Melissa

[Paul Bell]

Think when he went out for the rolls and the paper, he never actually returned. lol. 15 years sounds good.

[The Iron Horseman]

Why 83 days? Enquiring minds want to know.

[Paul Bell]

She had already served 7 days of the ninety. lol

[The Iron Horseman]

Lol! Thanks for the clarification, Paul.

[Onlyme]

Oh my ... Cleverly done and so fun.

[Paul Bell]

Not what her lawyer said. lol

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

So wrong and funny and clever. So Paul! The grapes of wrath shall we say?? Smiling large...

[Paul Bell]

Never eaten a grape since. lol

[Neville]

Seems you might get off lightly then my friend.. Oh' and talk about laugh, both me socks just flew off... you sure got a knack for these..... N

[Paul Bell]

Sadly they never laughed about it. lol

[Neville]

no sense of humour eh.. no accounting for folk is there...

[wordman]

and why 83 days,more like 83 years..and who could get so lucky

[Paul Bell]

Some judges are just lenient. lol

[emmajoy]

'Naturally, I took the obligatory grapes and flowers .. Technically she was still the wife's best friend '

Should i be grinning.. not smiling, not laughing.! Wondering if perhaps that was what you deserved.. full where it hurt.. and just could be-will be! Impure fiction, probably. But, could have been a wry look at the male-female juxtaposition had you left those grapes alone!

[Paul Bell]

Grape free now. Peniless, but free. lol

[jacob erin-cilberto]

technically she was...but emotionally and mentally....she is the prey, now...and the venom is spitting a long way.

[Paul Bell]

Funny, she never got over it.

[Lydia Shutter]

Wow, what a story this is, Paul....the wife goes away for a couple days and the husband plays....with the wrong woman....or women as the case may be! This one could be a movie screenplay! Loved it...dry humor throughout. Lydi**

[Paul Bell]

Do you think she'll come back.

[Lydia Shutter]

I wouldn't bet the house on it! :)

[Paul Bell]

Think I did. Maybe why she's living in it. lol

[Lydia Shutter]

LOL yup, in a divorce, that can happen.