The Toaster

The toasters on the blink.
I don't care, I'm leaving you.
I know you like your toast in the morning, but that's a bit extreme.
I've met someone new.
You never mentioned that last night when you were screaming, more, more.
That was goodbye sex.
I think I'll get a brown toaster.
You would put a brown toaster against a red background.
Hardly your concern now.
I designed this kitchen, you are not getting a brown toaster.
Think I'll change the whole decor when you leave.
That is just typical of you. You just can't wait to forget me.
I think it's for the best, cuddles. Maybe make it my man cave.
That's it, I'm dumping the other guy. I am not having you undo all my good work.
Won't he be devastated.
Who cares. Right, we're going shopping today.
Oops turned out to be the fuse.
Right, I'm going.
Going where cuddles.
Back to bed, do not disturb me.
Aw, I was thinking some sympathy sex, maybe get back together sex.
Do not disturb me.
Okay cuddles, I'll pop down to the tailors, get fitted out for your sister's wedding. I'm thinking bright orange, 
Oh my god, stay there, I'm going with you.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This is a delightful spoof on those couples (we all know 'em) who fight & f**k alternately as a way to ward off the boredom of relationship! *smile* Your own personal playfulness shines thru so bright, I often wonder if you're writing from firsthand experience *wink! wink!* Excellent job of making this fresh with unexpected details in a routine setting! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Paul Bell]

This is you and me, Margie.
The toaster is just an excuse to go out into the woods and play.

[barleygirl]

You are suuuuch a tease! *gawrsh!*

[Paul Bell]

Cheer up Monday, Margie. Seemingly it's blue Monday here. This is the day people throw themselves in front of buses.

[barleygirl]

Yesterday was blue Sunday at 27*C here!!! But now the clouds have returned so we won't get sunburned in January! And we probably won't get any rain, either. We already got our 2 days of rain for the year *sigh!*

[Paul Bell]

For the first time in my life today. I heard the forecast of, Thunder snow on the way. Can't wait to see what it is.

[barleygirl]

Your frosty rumble might beckon an afternoon tumble . . .

[Paul Bell]

Sex on the snow. Got to be better than sex on the beech. Wonder if she'll give me the cold shoulder. lol

[Dave]

Looking back, that's what you want us to do isn't it? I have to laugh at the crazy things we argued about. Better yet, how these spats were resolved. I enjoy your insights.

Take care - Dave

[Paul Bell]

She knew better, Dave. Or at least that's what I tell myself. lol

[Barbara Walker]

This made me laugh. Like many couples they get along best when not getting along. Your poetic conversation said it all.

[Paul Bell]

They'll last forever. lol

[Mrudula Rani]

Reverse psychology always works! Is not it??

[Paul Bell]

You got a toaster.

[Mrudula Rani]

Not any more!

[Alexa Apothic Red]

Ha ha, this is humorous and accurate! I love it!

[Paul Bell]

We know how to press your buttons.

[Einstein Noodle]

love these spats of this marriage ...humor inserted can work so much good between human beings..humor, dancing and singing ... maybe all at once .. my Norma says when i dance and sing it is very humorous ... not sure how i should take that tho ;} very much enjoyed this read Paul .. thanks for sharing
E.

[Paul Bell]

It's the little things, Einstein
Dancing and singing is hard to do.
You tell Norma that.

[Einstein Noodle]

by George i will sir! ;}

[Ardra]

lol ..... is it always about sex...
make up , break up , sympathy lol you have a long list of it ...

hehe so typical of guys ..
n so typical of ladies to fuss over the decoration and shopping. .. you have studied the complete female thought process i feel :P

[Paul Bell]

It's not always about sex. It's more getting round you women, in a nice way. Why do you always want to go shopping.

[Ardra]

only when i find the sale in on i like shopping :P
don't say you are giving me your credit card... ;)
i can shop on non sales day too lol..

[Paul Bell]

If i don't have to do anything, help yourself. lol

[Ardra]

:P hahah ur like here take the card go awayyy...dont disturb me

[Paul Bell]

Brothers. lol