The Chuckle Brothers.

Woke up this morning with a head
This is the curse when you try to change the world
Gave Mary just a slight hint Tony might be bedding Jill, Joan, not excluding Alice
Big John, definitely gay, but as I explained, Billy his partner was kissing May
Mark was salivating over the barmaid Rose
Godsakes man haven’t you heard, Rose used to be Fred
You could have heard a pin drop when the chuckle brothers walked in
Word on the street, Jill and Joan were in the family way
Which in any other circumstances would be okay
But everybody knew the brothers fired blanks, hence the chuckle reference amongst the ranks
Still, honour was at stake on that fateful night
A slight nod Tony’s way would start the fight
A knife to the heart was Tony’s plight
Then a voice cried out, you sure she’s a man
Well, Rose hit Mark with a pan
Big John head butted Billy
Who landed on Tony, and one of his cronies
Mary who had now lost the plot when Alice showed the ring Tony had bought
A bottle of bud over the head, put paid to Tony and his amorous ways
Rose stripped off shouting, does this look like a man
Mark got up seeing double as the chuckle brothers pushed him down again
Big John threw Billy into the air, landing on the chuckle brothers like Fred Astaire
The brothers took this as a blatant dare, shooting Billy without a care
Tony clocked Rose in her Sunday best, uttering the words, better than all the rest
This sent Mary totally insane, followed by Jill, Joan, Alice, and for some reason May
Guns were pulled, shots went astray, all aimed at Tony who looked on in dismay
The chuckle brothers in the way, killed outright on that fateful day
Legend has it, a crime of passion, no arrests were ever made
Tony fled the country, followed by Jill, Joan, and for some reason May
Mark and Rose fell in love, got married
Mary and Alice gave them away
Big John and Billy gave it another go
I was going to mention to him, but decided no
Not after all the advice I gave went untold
Still, this is the curse when you try to change the world
This is why I woke up with a head
Though, what a palaver
Was it something I said.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

You never cease to amaze me with your wild imagination! You think of things to write about that nobody else does (something I very much value & try to do when I can!) This reads like a tumbling bumbling bunch of bozos on a treasure hunt. I love your embedded details that bring a smile, such as flippant comments about people's sexuality & sexual preferences. This is just a helluva lot of fun to read! (((HUGS)))

[Paul Bell]

You've got to have a laugh Margie. Though i've been barred from that pub now. lol

[Carol Cashes]

As a bartender of 18 years in 6 states, I can assure you that this is a true story - several times over. Only the names have been changed to convict the guilty. This is hilarious and well done. Thanks for this word gem.

[Paul Bell]

Bet you could tell a few stories in your time behind the bar.

[Chris]

a better sitcom script I have yet to hear... the images were quite clear. Bail bondsmen would be rolling in the aisles and the bounty hunters awaiting calls...

Precious and bold.

[Paul Bell]

The dog would make good out of this lot, right enough. Mind you. Is he still about.

[Chris]

unlike cats - dogs commit suicide by human... thinking they should have nine lives too...

[Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn..]

Read this last night, but had to calm down lest I stroke out of sheer laughter ... Intelligently witty and definitely up to our changing times ...

[Paul Bell]

Could this be your local bar, Marv.

[Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn's Dark Poetry & More]

Reminds me in a bar I used to frequent in Manitou Springs Co. ...

[Paul Bell]

I knew there were two bars like this. lol

[Island Hippy]

Aloha Paul :) gosh you come up with the funniest most original writes. The title was a pull for me and chuckle I did.

Your locals make great drama... haha if I wasn't pregnant I'd be at your local with a pint enjoying the entertainment. Loved it! Izzy

[Paul Bell]

You would fit in perfectly Issy. lol

[Marina]

Wow you did it again. That's satire at its best. If the locals at your bar are even remotely close to these fellows, I am moving over there.

p.s: like how May seems to appear out of nowhere, what a gal

[Paul Bell]

Psychotic tendencies our May. Especially when she caught April in the shower with June.

[Marina]

I bet she had some real identity issues after that.

[Paul Bell]

Some months just passed her by after that.

[Nigel Newman]

Paul, this is surely the resume of recent events in any of a dozen soaps? I was almost expecting the close of your work to be the producer responding 'Nah, it isn't weird enough! Write in more death and incest or they'll switch to Neighbours'

Good work!
Nigel

[Paul Bell]

I know Nigel. It hard to get it all in, in these times of promiscuity.

[B]

For some reason
I am picking up on sarcasm here
This isn't a made up story now is it
You have just exposed the mega plot of a bunch of people you saw creating stupid drama

I don't know I could be so wrong
But it's clear like the sun
You are making fun of them.

[Paul Bell]

Sarcasm Nisreen, never. I would never do that to the locals in my bar. lol

[B]

lol
you just made my point gleam like the sun

[Paul Bell]

does that mean you want in the next one.

[Ken Simm.]

I am reminded of The Battle of Epping Forest by Genesis. Except I regard yours as the better of the two. Excellent.

[Paul Bell]

Both definitely chaotic. Though Genesis, just the business.