So Cold.

He watched her leaving, mother needed her.
Mummy seemed to need her more and more now.
He tried to be intimate with her.
She was stressed, her mother.
The little voice kept telling him.
What did it tell him.
New underwear, new perfume.
In bed, she was cold towards him.
Mother died.
Strange, the first time together in a year.
He watched her leaving, father needed her.
Daddy seemed to need her more and more now.
He tried to be intimate with her.
But she was so cold now.

Reviews

[Nigel Newman]

Very well done Paul. Hmmm. That's one way to deal with a cheating partner, I suppose. It's very well told.

Regards
Nigel

[Paul Bell]

She wont do it again, he told the police.

[jellycat94]

Sometimes things go over my head, I can be a bit dense now and then, so I was reading the comments and saw that you explained "her time had come, he killed her," and then I had the moment where I thought "OH! That's why she's 'so' cold now." Ahaha, sorry, that's all me. It's not like it was hard to see, things just shoot straight over my head all the time.
So this means that he was so hurt by her obvious lies and betrayal, that he kind of decided "since you want to be cold anyway," and he just did it. Am I right in thinking that he tried to be intimate with her one last time post-death?
Once again, excellent work.

[Paul Bell]

You are correct jellycat. He finally snapped.

[Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn..]

Wow, true to life, tell tale signs that are trying to tell a man the tale of what is taking place right before his eyes--no mystery, no interpretation, just good ole common horse set to nicely done poetic lines ...

Marv

[Paul Bell]

Think he got it in the end.

[Great Aunt Astri]

So sad. When everything goes wrong and love is dead, well, tragedies can happen. Perhaps he felt she would be better off dead? Your descriptive poem certainly gets the feelings across. Well done for 'illuminating' this situation.

[Paul Bell]

Yeah i think her time had come.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Unrequited love and poorly disguised lies, each like a roses thorn. This plaintive rose doth truly protest too much. Stark, staccato, truth. This villainess in sheep's clothing that you paint so well. Never fear, you deserve much better.

[Paul Bell]

Think he realised that in the end.

[B]

How can you be in love that is not free ? overtaken by obligation and by social idioms that resemble nothing at the end of the day. but somehow this lover of yours is tied
and you just end up with the driest part of her that cold tired woman

i love this
so full of meaning
i dont know i could be so far off

[Paul Bell]

She certainly is cold now, he killed her.

[B]

But like everything in life
She will find a rebirth of her soul within. Blooming

[Paul Bell]

You may be right.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i feel incest being described here, and how confusing it is for all involved...like that song "if lovin' you is wrong, i don't want to be right"--

love and making love...not always a satisfaction..often it is an infraction.
j.

[Paul Bell]

Like your interpretation Jacob. Though i was trying to be subtle with the last line. He'd killed her.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and i see it as he killed her inside...her heart was dead.

[Paul Bell]

Yeah i read again, and i see where you're coming from.

[Gee]

And then, " I do still love you, but like a brother "
Now that's either incestuous or more likely, SHE'S PUTTING IT ABOUT.....hmmmmmmmmmm.
Know a few that have been there

[Paul Bell]

She was definitely putting it about.

[BBP]

Sounds like she's tramping it up.......

[Paul Bell]

Not heard tramping in a long time. Though she's not tramping it now, she's dead. lol

[MsJewel]

Your words are sad and heartfelt. I like the last line - "But she was so cold now" - it summed up your words perfectly and is the perfect ending. Well done :) Julie

[Paul Bell]

Thanks Julie. The last line was the maker.