Wrong number.

Two versions of the same mixed up phone call.

                                  Wrong number.

By Paul Bell.

She said I was history.

Then she said she would give me one more chance.

Then she said I didn’t deserve a second chance.

Then just as I was about to speak.

She said, I mean, who the hell do you think you are.

I was just about to say.

She said, this is definitely your last warning.

I was silent for a few seconds.

Well what do you have to say for yourself.

This is a wrong number.

What.

You’re not speaking to the guy you’re dumping.

Well why the hell did you let me rabble on.

To be truthful, I sort of get dumped a lot by phone, I just didn’t recognise the number.

That’s because you’re all jerks.

Well why don’t I take you out tonight to get over the jerk.

Get knotted, consider yourself and the jerk dumped.

Got a feeling she’ll phone back later and apologise, and then take me up on my offer, and when she gets to know me better.

She’ll definitely dump me.

    Wrong Number.

By Marina.

Hey honey

You know how I said I never do this, but honey I can't do this anymore

Who's that?

It's Jeff, look baby I need to talk to you

But-

Just let me finish, okay? This is over Mary. I can't do this anymore. My mum was right about you.

I'm sorry but-

No I'm sorry Mary. It's not your fault, it's me. You're great. I, I seem to have it all wrong in my head.

I-

I love you Mary but you don't deserve me.

Ok listen to me you a*****e-

Mary!-

That's not Mary. You have the wrong number, but it's your lucky day.

Who's this?

Your consciousness, but you can call me Kate.

Hi Kate-

Don't you even think about breaking up with Mary over the phone. No one deserves that.

But Kate you don't know the half of it-

I know that you're a mummy's boy and you need to start acting like an adult.

Woah-

Woah your a*s, you twat. You've been granted a second chance. Use it well.

Do you think I should text her then?

Hello?

Reviews

[BBP]

F*****g Awesome! hahahaha You never fail to make me smile. This was really rad. I could read a whole book of these little stories you come up with.

[Paul Bell]

That's a great title. F*****g Awesome gems. Only read when working at high heights, or working with power tools. lol

[Paul Bell]

Texting. Would that work. Or is he dead meat.
Could turn out to be a foursome. Though i wouldn't be turning my back for a minute. lol

[Marina]

Not sure the girls would comply with that. I mean Kate would obviously tell on Jeff to Mary. Then the shark scenario would be more plausible lol

[Paul Bell]

That's what makes it so exciting. I 'm seeing a comedy in the making here. A Greek tragedy in the offering. Does Eddie have a phone.

[Marina]

Well if you put in Eddie, you know he's the one to direct it. But we'll all have to carry handbags, hope you're fine with that.

[Paul Bell]

You can only get away with the fancy dress once a year here. After that, they tend to shoot you. lol

[Marina]

Clearly they need Eddie.

[Marina]

These two dudes should hang out together. Probably lots to tell.

[Paul Bell]

Could you imagine the offspring. Actually i think i drink with most of them. Really need to meet someone posh. I fancy living in a castle.