Love Smoke

I draw you in
Five rings of smoke appear like magic 
Your face on every one 
Christ how romantic am I
Maybe drink a JD  in your honour
It's amazing how little things bring you to me
The phone comes alive halfway through your honour 
Your soft sexy voice sends a tingle down my spine 
You say it's over 
Well, that was out of the blue 
I draw you in 
The sign on the packet
Smoking can damage your health and eventually kill you 
So profound 
I check the bottle of JD
No warning on that
You disappear into the clouds
Every one a silver lining.

Reviews

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

It's seductive, destructive, sad, and real....all the things needed to write good poetry. Love the style....

[Neal S]

Beautiful imagery. Just a lovely piece.

[Paul Bell]

Thanks Neal.

[redzone]

smoke and love, both will damage your health Paul... and while you are up, could I get a JD please.. make it 2 as reading smoky poems leaves me a bit thirsty...

still drink some but gave up them smokes cause like you her face was always seen in that blue haze, of course it could have been from the booze haze but hey whose counting... lol

loved your poem Paul...

[Paul Bell]

Yeah smoking sucks now. Think JD is just about safe.

[elfthereal]

metaphorically sensual, story like and sounds casual but hints at the heavy nuance of desiring destruction and how it may just be met, through the lost in hope itself.

[Paul Bell]

Yes, the self destructive curve runs right through him.

[Cryingkate]

Ha Love that tone and Stage.... secondly.....
It reminds me of that older detective series.. geez I don't remember who he was. I am old enough to forget what i remember. His series would always start off in this narrative such as this.... I'm left feeling like I just watched someone who like tried to tell us he was dropped like a hot potato and how deeply she affected him and so much so that he just sits there blowing smoke rings and telling oh how bad it is and yet doesn't feel a thing... Like water off a ducks back. Ha.. So you think it bothers me that you dumped me??

[Paul Bell]

Was that dixon of dock green.

[Cryingkate]

No. I never heard of him.

[Cryingkate]

Kolchak : The Night Stalker LOL Finally just thought of it. That's the voice I hear in this write. I think he even did the smoke rings.I can hear and see him sitting there at his typewriter writing this.

[BBP]

Liked this! Almosttttttt dark even! lol Sounds like I could even belong in my book! Dig this one Paul.

[Paul Bell]

You just like it cos she dumped me, and since it was a poor week, i couldn't afford the bullet to top myself. lol

[BBP]

LMAO! I'd let you have a bullet but I couldn't assist in good talent being wasted. lol

[BBP]

Oh and on account of you thinking I'm so dark... I sent you a read request for one of my softer sides lol Just dont die of shock lol

[Valentine]

Went through a bunch of your writes, read them all, so I guess I am starting over. Valentine

[Paul Bell]

You'll need to slow down Kathie.

[Winslow Des Totes]

What a unique perspective on love and loss. I especially like the way you capitalized the beginning of each sentence but used no punctuation so that the words seem to hang in the air a moment longer then one expects. The imagery here is superb and there's a mellow dramatic tone to this piece that emphasizes a certain over looked quality of romance that people often misrepresent as malaise. Very interesting use of form and diction; overall well done.

[Paul Bell]

Thanks Winslow Des Totes. I need your name.

[Homason]

No matter how silvered the linings are we most strive to be master of our actions and not our actions master us. Smoke can be uniquely undescribable at some time----satisfying the feelings that come side by side. But where does it go at draw time?
...if i'm to choose a title for this it'll be "Life like Smoke"

- Homason

[Paul Bell]

I suppose in a way, it's all smoke.

[Homason]

Exactly...

[MsJewel]

I enjoyed your use of metaphor in this well written poem. The last line is perfection.

Julie

[Paul Bell]

Thanks Julie. Glad you stopped by.