Love Smoke

I draw you in
Five rings of smoke appear like magic 
Your face on every one 
Christ how romantic am I
Maybe drink a JD  in your honour
It's amazing how little things bring you to me
The phone comes alive halfway through your honour 
Your soft sexy voice sends a tingle down my spine 
You say it's over 
Well, that was out of the blue 
I draw you in 
The sign on the packet
Smoking can damage your health and eventually kill you 
So profound 
I check the bottle of JD
No warning on that
You disappear into the clouds
Every one a silver lining.

Reviews

[Karen John]

I love the way how your poem draws the attention of the reader into its dark side at the same time causes us to think more effectively.

[Paul Bell]

Romance can be dark I think.

[Karen John]

It definitely can.

[Onlyme]

Loved the romance, the dark humour and the casual flow and feel to your words. Made me feel part of your poem and your feelings. Great job.

[Paul Bell]

Thanks Dee. The JD does it.

[Giulia King]

"It's amazing how little things bring you to me" That line stood out the most for me. Perhaps because I can really relate to that when I'm writing my own poems. Loved reading this piece :)

[Paul Bell]

Thanks Giullia, one I like too.

[Madeira]

A wonderful write that created so many images and feelings for me from the simplicity of the words, loved this

[Paul Bell]

Thanks, Madeira. One I like myself.

[lightsong]

I always like it very very much, enjoy it so very much, and admire it when I read a poem or a style that has a real personal touch, like the one here, it gives the words more sincerity, more faithfulness, real and alive feelings, thank You for sharing it my friend.

[Paul Bell]

Glad you liked it.

[Jimmy Yetts]

Unique metaphor--or metaphors.
Very fine work, Paul!

[Paul Bell]

Thanks, Jimmy.

[NEHA]

hmm....quite impressive!!!!

[Paul Bell]

And that's just the JD

[Jacob Clifford]

My my, you make danger sound so exciting. The stream of conscious narration is done to very good effect in this poem.

[Paul Bell]

You always fall back on something.

[θεά]

Surreal and bordering on psychedelic, your poem has an open endedness to it which makes for an exciting read. Life like smoke is ephemeral, and hard to clutch at or define. Well written.

[Paul Bell]

Thanks Mallika.

[ZakLeonRamsey]

Love is quite a powerful thing in the world and this poem that you have written expresses love perfectly. I like this poem a lot and if this is the least you can do, your works are going to get better from here.