Sway

shall we dance

Dance with me
please
hold me close
sway with me
bone to bone
arms around
waist
arms around
neck
sway

Let the music take us
to another
realm
just you
me
swaying

Not too close
when we are alone
then
we will fall into
each others skin

For now
just need you
holding me
dance me
and sway
with me

Stay

Author's Note

restoration .. my mind is numb so no poems or stories come .. they are sleeping

Reviews

[Blackbirdsong]

I can almost hear and feel the rhythm of the music in this one. I really love the inner thoughts of the speaker. The flirty way she's like come here, but not too close. Later. That's the way to control a man. Besides they love it when we take command like that. lol

Good read. :)

[James K. Blaylock]

i love this part the most

hold me close
sway with me
bone to bone
arms around
waist

keep up the great writes.

[Crazy Cat Man]

awwwwwwww great poem...makes me wanna dance with you :D

[Walden]

The construction of the poem yields well to the topic. The short lines make it reminiscent of a dance. Good word choice for the most part, nice job playing on the sense of touch.

[O!]

TOUCH is such a powerful thing.........and u express that need here so beautifully!!.....there's nothing like a partner whom u can dance with.........sway with.......in rhythm......but what was most powerful was ur end.......

STAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yes.......that was a powerful ending!!............STAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

x,
O! :-)

[Wsn Radio On Writerscaf..]

Love the line "fall into each others skin". The flow of this is quiet, enticing and pulls you in. Well done and congrats on the feature!

[Yira Simone]

The need for human contact is always strong and present with each of us. Your poem demostrates that fact very well. You kept it simple, and I liked that, because your request was simple, don't leave me alone. Very good flow and wording my dear. You did good!-Catrina

[Janie Lee]

It's nice is it kind of a spin off of a song? sounds familiar, but yeah universal, you are a good writer

[Johnoe]

with regards to reviewing this poem the only qualificationi have is that i wrote one along similar lines therefore feel empathy for feelings expressed. i love your poem

[April " if anyone ..]

This is awesome that your poem was picked as a featured poem, I hope one day one of my poems gets that honor. I love this piece... really It was very soothing to read...

[Peradu]

This is my first ever review so I suppose I start by saying congrats on the featured poem of the day. Although this poem does have excellent rhythm there are some words that tend to clash and sound slightly flat. The "bone to bone" does not infer the intimacy that there is with tender moments and the "dance me" sounds slightly out of step.

In all I think this is a good start but I believe that you may be happier with the piece if you play with the words a little more.

I can see from the reviews below me that maybe this is not a great place for a critique to be accepted? But hey... I give what I am hoping to receive.