Sway

shall we dance

Dance with me
please
hold me close
sway with me
bone to bone
arms around
waist
arms around
neck
sway

Let the music take us
to another
realm
just you
me
swaying

Not too close
when we are alone
then
we will fall into
each others skin

For now
just need you
holding me
dance me
and sway
with me

Stay

Author's Note

restoration .. my mind is numb so no poems or stories come .. they are sleeping

Reviews

[Blackbirdsong]

I can almost hear and feel the rhythm of the music in this one. I really love the inner thoughts of the speaker. The flirty way she's like come here, but not too close. Later. That's the way to control a man. Besides they love it when we take command like that. lol

Good read. :)

[Li Li]

I liked the calmness of this poem. It was very "breezy" if that makes any sense. Kind of felt like a calm flow of words that did just what you asked...they swayed.

I think we long for these moments for security at times. Even if it's just to be held for 2 minutes, it gives us an inner sense of quality. I truly liked the simplicity of this and think that the length added more to the poem rather than taking away. You clearly stated everything and did it flavorfully. (not a word but go with it) LOL!

Much love!
Li

[Jeremy]

Simple in verse, yet full in emotion. It takes alot to fill few words with so much breadth of meaning, and I believe that you have achieved that. Well done.

[Angie Jorgen]

this is a soothing poem, it resonates with the calming feeling of being totally enveloped by another..but lets not get TOO close (not until we are alone, then we can go crazy) this ia a happy piece, which I have not read too much of late..it is a love poem that can be about so much more than dancing - it really is all just a connection after all? I liked this because it put a smile on my face after having a dramatic (woe is me..i write sad poetry) days...:) thanks for sharing

[Princess Pink]

Heh.. I really liked this. Truly reminds me of one of my poems, "Forever Yours", which was especially made for that someone special.

Thanks for sharing.

EC :)

[Adam Smith]

I love you work.

I love how you focus on the present, and elude the future. mmmm.

Love it!

Adamm;)

[Ismael Rodriguez Jr.]

there is a simplicity and purity to this poem. very moving

[T. L. O'Neal]

Has a great feel to it and I can envision the dance under the moonlight. Very nice. T

[Annabelle]

i flowed with the music..as they did ...i imagined it all....good job...wonderful poem

[Jake Svercek]

I like the simplicity and the repetition of words, but--and this is a problem I have found in a lot of poetry while browsing--having so many line breaks is not an effective way to convey this slow...swaying. I think it would be more effective if you had longer lines with repetition worked in, like:

"We fall into each other's skin, for now...just needing you
To hold me, dance with me...and sway...stay...with me"

Try replacing some of the line breaks with ellipses and it'll be a really great poem. Good job.

[[untitled]]

had to stop half way through because something rhymed and it fit so snuggly and i coudnt work out where it was...."Let the music take us to another realm ".........................................................Not too close when we are alone ...........so ok not a direct rhyme but it sort of stuck in my head like a nice surprisedont know if it was intentional or not...dont carei like random anyway......(sometimes i actually thnk its more honest, ironically)so that was well cool for me....subtlety...not trying to be clever.....or contrived....speaks volumes for me...then the last bitjust need you holding me dance me and sway with me staylove that last word "stay"......means alotand i love the way the words trail off to it...you know me by nowhow i like to arrange words around meaning and emotionthis works for me....cool eh chloe......???