Sway

shall we dance

Dance with me
please
hold me close
sway with me
bone to bone
arms around
waist
arms around
neck
sway

Let the music take us
to another
realm
just you
me
swaying

Not too close
when we are alone
then
we will fall into
each others skin

For now
just need you
holding me
dance me
and sway
with me

Stay

Author's Note

restoration .. my mind is numb so no poems or stories come .. they are sleeping

Reviews

[Blackbirdsong]

I can almost hear and feel the rhythm of the music in this one. I really love the inner thoughts of the speaker. The flirty way she's like come here, but not too close. Later. That's the way to control a man. Besides they love it when we take command like that. lol

Good read. :)

[Chantal-lise Mirman]

You've really touched a chord with a lot of people it seems, Chloe!

I liked the quiet tone of the poem. The brevity of the lines focuses the reader on each separate action, dissecting the dance, the connection between the two people. It almost sounds like Arthur Murray-type instructions - I can almost hear the counting in the background, "one anna two anna three anna four, one anna two...."

The rhythm is mesmerizing, with the plea of the first lines of stanzas one and two, "Dance with me" and "Let the music take us," being refined by the ultimate request at the end: "stay."

This is going in with my favorites! Thank you, Chloe!

[Tai Chi Italy]

A nice read Chloe, but I think you have clipped this birds wings a little too much, it needs more verbiage to pad it's muscles in order to fly high in loves poetic sky. I love to dance too. Met my hubby on the dance floor, three hours later we were still staring into each others eyes and, with hips linked forever.

Smiling at you, thanks for the reminder of such sweet memories

Tai

PS Hope you and babe are doing well.

[Blank]

Wow, your poems flow beautifully.
The rhythm makes the words flow themselves.

[Bernice]

I loved this it was so beautiful and lookin g at te other reviews i agree it would make a brilliant song

[Anata]

very nice one here chloe :)
i like the rythm, the imagery, everything about it.
And everyone here who reviewed me are very correct when saying these are perfect lyrics for a song.
Very nice :)

[Kimberly]

Sweet and to the point. It does flow like a song. I think it is great, though plain. Good.
~Kimberly

[Phill Oz O'fee]

A lot of the reviews, such as Jaime Luthe, Guitargirl, Gandr�, Benarsi and Janie Lee have a common theme; should be a song.

I agree, these words would make excellent lyrics.

Perhaps you have found your true vocation Chloe.

God�s Blessing
Phillozofee

[Joel Wool]

I like this.

The brevity is really important. Even though the swaying might go on for a long period of time, you've captured the sense of what each-single-swaying-movement feels. The disjointed phrases/thoughts and one word lines work well. You've made a great flow for a poem really entirely ABOUT flow.

[*** Hey Jude***]

Your words resonate, and touch me deeply. Love this, it makes me want to "sway" ~ J

[Sweet Temptation]

First, I love to dance so the title drew me in. Second, I like the flow and style I agree it has a sway effect to it. Your words are beautifully crafted. As I was reading, the movie "Dirty Dancing" came to mind, must be the closeness of two people holding each other and dancing. It was interesting from beginning to end. I so want to go dancing now. Nicely done, my friend. Kudos!