I Walk Alone (Winter's Walk)

I Walk Alone (Winter's Walk)

A Poem by Chloe..Across the Universe
"

peaceful winter walking

"

Frosty 'morn
dawn's violet hues
bundled in wool
fleece covered feet
crunch frozen earth
I walk
solitude
repose
tranquility
serenity
peace
breathe

© 2008 Chloe..Across the Universe


Author's Note

Chloe..Across the Universe
i wrote this a few months after joining this site.. someone told me poetry need not have a lot of words
this was my first attempt to cut back on a flowing mind.. this was when this site was in its golden days.

My Review

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Featured Review

Of what you've written thus far, this is one of my favorites. It feels natural - like there's a moment's passion in it . . .(almost like William Carlos Williams' Red Wheelbarrow:so much dependsupona red wheelbarrowglazed with rainwaterbeside the whitechickens.My only suggestion is that you reconsider the last six words . . . I like the word "repose" but the words tranquility, serenity, and peace came across to me as kinda' repeatitive and don't seem to add any additional insight per line as another descriptive word might do (I would offer suggestions, but . . . ) . . . Does that make sense? I have already been out this morning, had the cold dew on my bare feet (chasing my puppy); I can tell that the sun's quickly heating up a sheer blue sky . . . I'm so glad that the ground is no longer frozen in the mornings, but then your little poem made me miss it a little . . . ;) Thanks for sharing.

Posted 17 Years Ago


13 of 13 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Chloe...Kind of takes your breath away. I like it a lot. The image is simple yet to the point. Don't change this. It is what it is and tells a story. Your Friend Gary

Posted 17 Years Ago


8 of 8 people found this review constructive.

That's truth, girl.

Posted 17 Years Ago


8 of 9 people found this review constructive.

Nice, simple and clean. Good write

Posted 17 Years Ago


7 of 9 people found this review constructive.

love it




............

Posted 17 Years Ago


7 of 9 people found this review constructive.

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Rei
Ah the sweet serenity of being alone with your thoughts! This had such an aura of peacefullness that I got really relaxed just reading it. I loved the imagery and the idea it potrays. Great job!

Posted 17 Years Ago


10 of 10 people found this review constructive.

Nice imagery Chloe, I can feel the cold on my neck. Excellent write. T

Posted 17 Years Ago


10 of 11 people found this review constructive.

awesome... its simplicity is simply awesome

Posted 17 Years Ago


9 of 11 people found this review constructive.

That gave me a peaceful kind of feeling. :]it was just nice and simple description.you're very good at that. keep writing!

Posted 17 Years Ago


10 of 11 people found this review constructive.

Sometimes your only shelter is to be alone. The one word lines work amazing as an end to this piece. It seems as if they are setting off to find this shelter and to get away from the chaos of their world.
Very well written!

-7h3fr34k

Posted 17 Years Ago


11 of 11 people found this review constructive.

I really love this piece. I interpret it as it proves solitude is not always a bad thing and can actually be medicine for the soul. I wrote a poem similiar to this. Your words are majestic and very well placed.
I think the only thing I would do is possibly replace morn' with morning. Only because I feel it matches your writing technique on the rest of the poem better.
You have managed to place the reader in atmosphere you created beautifully with so few words.
It was a true pleasure reading your work :)

Brian

Posted 17 Years Ago


12 of 12 people found this review constructive.


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68 Reviews
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Added on February 29, 2008
Last Updated on February 29, 2008

Author

Chloe..Across the Universe
Chloe..Across the Universe

Smalltown, USA, AR



About
Sometimes i feel like an alien in a strange land..can you relate? I love people and friends are just that to me , friends-if you request me as a friend it would be nice if you read something I have .. more..

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