Well now - you may wonder what this is all about and you may say this is one suck ass poem - actually it is lyrics or poem inspired by Led Zepplin's song 'You Make Wanna Crawl"- I think i wrote this wrong for the contest .. said write how it makes you feel .. i don't know about this ... is it an embarrassment? Truthful opinions - i can take it on the chin
If you know it or listen it is so so so sexy - voice and guitar makes you wanna crawl lol
I ain't no song writer .. my shot for the contest -anything with music i'm in ..
My Review
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Hmm, for me personally, there are far too many baby's in this and too much repetition. Perhaps if there was a song attached to it I might feel differently. As far as the inspiration for this, It's called "I'm gonna crawl" not 'you make me wanna crawl.' There are some familiar phrases or words through-out from old blues tunes. I grew up on Zeppelin and was shocked to see so much plagiarism in their lyrics and guitar riffs. They're still one of the best bands though.
From the start, since it was inspired by music, I was drawn to it. Lol. I think music is one of the best sources for inspiration and even motivation. I write a lot of poems either using parts of songs as a starter point or just whatever comes to mind when I hear the lyrics. I love that it was inspired by Led Zeppelin. Zeppelin is a classic. They were a very influential band that inspired so many others artists to do great things and still to this day inspire people, as I've seen here. Lol.
The lyrics in music alone can get you thinking. And the emotions/feelings/body-highs I get from the instrumentals are almost impossible to describe, but it motivates me to keep trying.
This piece was very interesting to me. Seductive, romantic, passionate, and bold without being too over the top.
I really like how at the beginning of the poem it kind of sounds sweet and romantic, like:
"Watch me as I sway, just for you baby" and "Honey, sweet, no way am I walkin' out that door"
Then towards the end, it gets more bold and intense. Lines like:
"Oh sweet baby taste it on your lips" and "Scream it, scream it out loud"
Those are powerful words there, used in a powerful context. :P Lines like that can really strike some people at their core.
As for being an embarrassment, if you're confident about your work and you enjoy it, then it shouldn't be embarrassing. The fact that you're willing to share your work and be open to criticism says good things.
I say keep up the good work. :)
One last thing... Even If you think a poem you wrote sounds silly or you're unsure about it, remember that you wrote it with whatever feelings you were having. Something triggered those words... Embrace those feelings, understand them, and let them loose. ;)
Sometimes i feel like an alien in a strange land..can you relate?
I love people and friends are just that to me , friends-if you request me as a friend it would be nice if you read something I have .. more..
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