Dangling

she sits on a ledge in the rain
dangling her feet
on a monday
she sings a song no one
can hear but her
she used to be a singer
till an evil man in black
took her melody
she holds a book -
a pen writing a love letter
to someone she does not know
the rain blurs the blue ink
it looks like a painting
of the melody she once had
the rain stops
the sun comes out
she puts on her sunglasses
 pulls out a cigarette
the matches are wet
so she holds it
in her mouth unlit
this was her swan song
without a melody
her goodbye letter
without a word
her feet no longer dangle
they are crushed by the concrete
she now lies on
monday morning beneath
a sky of gray
the rain kicks its heels
and washes the blood away

Reviews

[Kerry O'Connor]

I love the three opening lines - they set a whimsical scene so many girls can relate to - the idyllic time before men in black stole their joy. You bring it all back to reality in the last 4 lines...
monday morning beneath
a sky of gray
the rain kicks its heels
and washes the blood away.

Great work.

[pluto]

I hate this man in black. I want harsh justice for the melody killer.

[Letemdangle]

For obvious reasons I like the title!

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

She sings a song no one can hear but her...........I have a song like this myself.......wonderful write Chloe!

[emmajoy]

What a tragic poem, it's a worded painting of utter loneliness, complete despair contained in clear colour,
' .. she sings a song no one ~ can hear but her .. '
' .. writing a love letter ~ to someone she does not know .. '
' .. beneath ~ a sky of gray ~ the rain kicks its heels ~ and washes the blood away'

You write superbly, your words touched me. There's more here than in words.

[Xilhouette]

Hmm. I like this one. It's a very descriptive poem right exactly in between the borders of being senseless and beautiful ;)

[No use.]

this is all softly placed upon the world with delicate hands, the beautiful way you have poured out this dangling soul who now dangles no more. so silently she is washed away, the sounds covered by the noise of the shattering rain, I guess she thought she wouldn't be missed..:(

[.]

chloe! love this! this holds the reader imagination as you dangle a delicious metaphorical twist on womanhood..nice

[Rossen]

Never sit on a ledge on a Monday!

"this was her swan song
without a melody"

I took this to mean, the sadist swan dive

"she used to be a singer
till an evil man in black
took her melody"

The X man ~

"she puts on her sunglasses"

To not see the grown rushing her.

Nice finishing rhyme, this is so sad
Wish I walked under and broke her fall...
Nice to see you writing more, good job Chloe,100/100
Rossen

[Tate Morgan]

she puts on her sunglasses
pulls out a cigarette
the matches are wet
so she holds it
in her mouth unlit
this was her swan song
without a melody
her goodbye letter
without a word

This I really do like it is very expressive to me

[Quinn Blackburn]

marvelous wordcrafting!