Dangling

she sits on a ledge in the rain
dangling her feet
on a monday
she sings a song no one
can hear but her
she used to be a singer
till an evil man in black
took her melody
she holds a book -
a pen writing a love letter
to someone she does not know
the rain blurs the blue ink
it looks like a painting
of the melody she once had
the rain stops
the sun comes out
she puts on her sunglasses
 pulls out a cigarette
the matches are wet
so she holds it
in her mouth unlit
this was her swan song
without a melody
her goodbye letter
without a word
her feet no longer dangle
they are crushed by the concrete
she now lies on
monday morning beneath
a sky of gray
the rain kicks its heels
and washes the blood away

Reviews

[Kerry O'Connor]

I love the three opening lines - they set a whimsical scene so many girls can relate to - the idyllic time before men in black stole their joy. You bring it all back to reality in the last 4 lines...
monday morning beneath
a sky of gray
the rain kicks its heels
and washes the blood away.

Great work.

[MOON]

Beautifully written and the title sums it up. Lovely deep lines.

I enjoyed this sad, but so great life sketch of your quill... how many times, these girls, feel like this, and nobody notice them? beautifully penned, with great details, and a huge imagery for your readers Chloe.

Well done,
- Elisa

[Lydia Shutter]

Overwhelmingly sad words. A woman whose joie de vivre has been stolen brutally by "a man in black" and she can not even light her last cigarette because the matches are wet. The poor soul thinks suicide is the only way out and she is convinced no one will notice she is gone. Heavy sigh.....the intensity of darkness is incredible. Excellent poetry. Lydi**

[Muse]

The cigarette "symbolic for her inner fire" and then the rain "man" came and put it out for good. The rain comes back to wash away the evidence. I loved the title...and I loved where your words took me. A favorite!

[Chloe..Across the Universe]

Hello thank you for reading I'm really glad you enjoyed this
I have not written lately I don't know why I've had a few stories pop into my head that let them fly away
Really glad you were still here at the café seems like many of the people who were so active before I left for a a while have gone I feel a little out of place if that makes sense

[Kennabee]

Wow this is really intense i like it a lot!!

[1809 Black Plague Decem..]

oh my tragedy. Chloe! Miss you! I love the whole scenario. Wet matches, who couldn't say? lol Love, Mishel

[sierrasparks91]

i love how you wrote this poem it has alot of details and is a wonderful read i like the last four lines beautiful..

[The Analog Kid]

This is hard hitting. When you feel alone....you feel alone and nobody can help.

[anonymouse]

the ending is so true and sad
it's like we all get crushed and theres noone to turn to
this is awesome and soREAL
love it
it hurts (good way)

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

Her love and joy taken...then the denial of the cigarette was like having him steal any sigh of relief. I really felt a burden that could not be shifted from one's shoulders. The ending was a stunner. I'd love to see this as an animated narrative.