Now She Can Cry

Thanksgiving come and gone
no one else seemed to notice the empty chair
she was tempted to put a place setting there
but she didn't

And when she felt the tears welling
within her weary blue eyes
she bit her tongue

Gifts bought, wrapped placed beneath
the tree
those Christmas lights seemed to mock her
those that burned brightly but suddenly faded
just like...

She wanted to smash that tree
stomp those gifts. rip those twinkling lights
from those branches
scream at the top of her lungs
but she didn't

And when she felt those tears welt
she squeezed her eyes so tightly closed
everything stayed black for a moment when she opened them -
bit her tongue till she tasted blood -
silent

Fireworks, champagne, a toast to the old
a toast to the new
10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
smiling faces, kisses all around

She wanted to, could have dampened those fireworks
salted the champagne with her pent up tears
tore those kisses from lips with her nails
but she didn't

New Years Day -
Christmas turkey gone
only a carcass
one lone piece of soggy pumpkin pie
tree down
people resting

She sits in the bedroom that smells so familiar
still after all this time
from the velvet box,
takes out the lock of hair

Touches gently
smells, feels, holds to her heart
memories wash over her weary body

She lays her head on the pillow
where she last lay
tears flow like rapids
unsung screams burn her throat
tears soak the pillow

Now ...she can cry

Author's Note

First holidays without loved ones .....
I wish you all a Happy New Year , will be around in awhile to read ...
Peace

Reviews

[Magdelena]

OH this was so sad. I so remember a time when I too felt like this. many a time went by while I sat by myself within a crowd and felt so alone. tears fell when the darkness came, and this described exactly what it felt like.. Your imagery was perfection, your words became mine.. Bravo!

Mags xx

[Lydia Blackwell]

aww- this was sad and heartfelt. I have a tendency to think of who is NOT there sometimes at family gatherings. It is never pleasant but somehow it is needed, just as this poem needed to be written. this was a very touching piece.

[Ruth]

Stunning! And after all the commercial madness and New Year reflections, to face the fact that the sadness still there, to embrace that, is overwhelming here, beautiful work love xx

[TL Boehm]

the ache is indescribable in this piece and I understand...a bit. My dad passed away in 2009, and even tho' he'd converted to a religion that doesn't celebrate holidays several years prior - I still miss him so much. I cried a lot this Christmas...but this poem gives me strange comfort. Not that I wish you pain but I can read it and say....I know....
Its sad, and beautifully written.

[An owl on the moon]

Breathtaking beauty wrapped with such an overwhelming sadness... I have been missing my mom so much through the holidays, and so these words of separation stunned me... Thank you for sharing something so personally voiced.

[OT]

I disagree with your statement that you are not a good writer!! you are!! some really strong and visual images presented here, of which my favourite is this:

"She wanted to, could have dampened those fireworks
salted the champagne with her pent up tears"

nice!!

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

It is suppose to be a joyous time of year but for many it isn't, especially when you have no one to share it with... a painfully powerful piece.

And when *the* felt the tears welling

I think you meant she not the.

[Jenny Nelson]

Very touching piece. My neighbor died a few months ago. He was only 35 and left a wife and two young kids. It was really hard on his wife throughout these holidays.

[The Analog Kid]

Very touching. The imagery was perfect. No hidden meaning here. I could go on, but what is understood need not be discussed....

[Crowley]

Damn, that is the hardest thing. All them memories and around the Holidays mostly good. Just being able to look in her eyes and say Merry Christmas...that would make it more than worth while. Ain't nothin' anyone can say to make you feel better. It just hurts....but remembering helps. Great writing.

[SOUL LESS]

Very nice...